Time Management

Are you good at managing your time?

Before my oldest started school this Fall we talked about juggling priorities — school, sports, and other activities. We discussed he’d be learning time management and how to prioritize and get what’s needed done first, and wants second. We’re nearing the end of his first term and grades will be coming out soon. His sports season is wrapping up as well. He has expressed he is struggling juggling with it all.

His school gives parents access online to a student’s grades and assignments. It’s a way for parents to have a view into how their child is doing along the way. My husband and I rarely go in, not because it might be helpful or useful, but because we want our son to learn he has to stay on top of his studies without us watching him like a hawk. He is in an Advanced Placement (AP) class that allows students to gain college credit while in high school if they can pass the given exam at the end of the year. In order to get him signed up for the end of year exam, I had to go into the site that shows his grades and assignment completions to find the name of the teacher and class he’d be taking the test we needed to pay for. I couldn’t help but notice there were several assignments he hadn’t turned in (thankfully his grades looked pretty good). I asked him later that day about the assignments. He was surprised — not that I had looked, but that he hadn’t gotten all of his assignments in. He checked in with his teachers the following day, turned in the missing assignments, and was actually thankful it had been caught as it would have lowered his grade if it had not been addressed.

After some particularly long days for my son, which seemed to consist of wake-up, go to school, go to practice, eat dinner, sleep, he had little time to get his schoolwork done. He shared he was struggling, I asked him,”What did we say you’d have to learn and start to master this year?” He responded, “Time management.” I was glad he remembered without any prompting for me. “That’s right,” I said, “We need to think through what tools will help you.” He jumped in, “But I’m so tired when I get home and just want to zone out for a little while.” I completely understood how he felt. I, too, remember the stress increasing as I progressed in high school. I asked him what he was struggling with most. “Homework,” he shared, “when I get home I eat dinner then go through all my classes to see what homework I have.” I shared that was a good start, and suggested he add a designated time to do homework as a way to help — give him a little time to relax after practice, but time enough to get homework done before he goes to bed. “It’s hard,” he said. I agreed with him, but reminded him that learning these skills now will help him as he gets older.

Do you have a child who has a busy schedule and is struggling to manage it all? What strategies or tools are you sharing with them to help them better manage their time?

Peer Pressure

What peer pressure did you experience as a kid?

My oldest is allowed to have lunch off school grounds every day. He and two friends go a few blocks to a park and normally eat lunch there. One day he left the house without his lunch. I was able to run his lunch over to him during a lunchtime break. I picked him up after his sports practice had ended later in the day. Driving home I asked him how his day was. I got the normal “okay, I guess” answer. For whatever reason I asked, “and lunch was okay too?” I was thinking about what I’d brought him, did I get it right, did he get enough to eat — I’m not sure why I was concerned. I expected another short answer, but instead I got a “Well, actually…”

He started to explain what happened during lunch. The food I brought him was fine. But one of his friends got into a fight with another student who was also in the park. It was a little hard to follow how it went down, but based on what I could gather one student started “jawing” about my son’s friend and trying to get another student and my son’s friend to fight. When the instigator’s efforts didn’t work he was pressured by his group to do something. He walked over to my son’s friend, slapped him, and my son’s friend retaliated. My son’s friend was the bigger kid and the fight was over pretty quickly. My son got upset with his friend for engaging in the fight, and asked him what he was thinking. “Don’t you know what you have to lose? It’s so not worth it.” My son’s friend got upset with him for not joining in (my son’s friend didn’t need any help in the fight, it sounded like his expectations were ‘that’s just what friends do’). My son disagreed and told his friend, “The issue is between you and the other kid. Why would I get involved? This has nothing to do with me.” His friend didn’t like that answer. We talked about how my son handled the situation (I was impressed and proud he’d had this insight and had been able to tell his friend), and had great empathy for my son’s friend and the other boy involved. They appeared to have gotten caught up in peer pressure — if it had only been the two boys it didn’t sound a fight would have ever occurred.

My son feels for his friend and the consequences. Will he get kicked off the sports team they play on? Or get benched for a few games? Will his friend get in trouble by the school (it happened off campus by during school hours)? Will he and his friend get to the other side of this? Will his friend see that my son cares about him and wants his friend to make good choices, which can be so difficult to make when peer pressure is strong? I know my son is hopeful and so am I.

How does your child defend themselves against peer pressure? How are you helping them make good choices in tough situations?