Change of Scenery

Have you ever had to move your family?

When I was growing up, we relocated to a different state for my father’s job. It was pretty traumatic for my siblings and I. We moved from the suburbs to the sticks and had quite an adjustment to go through. It left an impression on me and created a desire to not move as a family once the kids were in school. I realize this isn’t an option for many, and there are many benefits to having your child move to different environments. It’s just my preference to, if at all possible, not move.

I’ve blogged in the past about how we are outgrowing our current home and either need to find another home or remodel ours. We are currently looking at remodeling and have found a home to stay in while the work is being done.

There is a part of me that is looking forward to the move. Moving forces you to rid yourself of much. It’s a catharsis, with a touch of sadness. Many items are a reference point for a memory, and while logically you know you’ll never use the item again it can be hard to know you’ll lose the reference point. I’m also looking forward to the change of scenery. We’ll be close to our home so we won’t feel so isolated, yet we’ll have an opportunity to experience something new — new layout, new way we navigate a new home, and make it ours while we’re living there. The kids are excited about the possibilities. I’m following their lead. Moving can be stressful, but it can be fun. It’s an adventure and hopefully we’ll all be better for it, in the end.

How did you get through you move? How did you help your kids adjust to their change in scenery?

 

Close Friendships From Afar

Having a close friend, or friends, move away can be hard.

When I was five, I had a friend named Mary. She is the first friend I can remember from my childhood. She lived in my neighborhood and I really enjoyed our playtime together. I recall one day being at her house and being told by my mother as she was picking me up to leave that this is the last time I would see Mary. “Mary is moving away,” my mother asked. “Why?” I responded. Mary’s mother chimed in that Mary’s father had gotten a job in another city that would require them to move. This was also the first time I can remember being pretty devastated. I couldn’t understand how adults could possibly separate children that had such a good time together. The job Mary’s father had, couldn’t possibly be as important, I thought.

It was the last time I saw Mary, and like any child my sadness at the situation faded as I realized the world went on and I would make other friends.

We have belonged to a parenting group since my oldest was born. The group has stayed together and met regularly ever since, even after many of us had our second child. We are a tight group, a supportive group and we deeply care about one another. One of the five families recently moved away. It was hard to come to terms with. You realize when people leave how you wished you spent more time with them while they were here.

I’m grateful for the time we had with this family, and even more grateful we have technology like FaceTime and Skype to keep us connected even though our dear friends moved far away. Seeing their faces makes them feel closer, and helps keep our connection strong.

I think about my children and what they think about their friends being so far away. Are they experiencing what I did with Mary? I know they’ll move on, but my hope is that through technology and occasional visits, my husband and I will model how with a little effort you can retain the best of friendships, even when you thousands of miles apart.

I’m reminded of my Girl Scout Days and the song, “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.” So true.

How have you dealt with relocation — your own, or friends or family? How did you help your children get through it?