Monthly Archives: May 2026

Never Go It Alone

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I was reminded of this saying when my oldest let me know he was hiking over the long weekend. It’s a normal thing for him to do in his free time. I asked, “who are you hiking with?” Knowing he has various friends he goes on these outings with. “No one,” he replied. Gulp.

I’ve read too many stories of people hiking alone, many very experienced, who have some mishap and end up injured, and too often, dead. My worried brain went into overdrive. My son is an adult and can do as he pleases, but his frontal cortex isn’t fully formed and this decision reminded me of where his brain is in its development.

I stressed that he should always go with someone. He countered that he went on a busy trail with tons of people around. I told him, that if anything happened to him I couldn’t bear it, and then I told him I had my PhD in worrying. Doesn’t every parent? My son responded with the “ha ha” bubble. 🤷‍♀️

I shared this news with my husband and we agreed we’d talk to our son again and stress the importance of not going alone.

In life, it’s easy to go it alone — when you don’t have others who want to join in, you just want to do something by yourself, and/or you think you can (or should) do something on your own. Sometimes you have to go alone — to school, work, or an appointment. Most times, the risk is low. But going alone has its risks — like when you hike a tall peak by yourself or when you take on too much (project, work, life) and struggle or fail.

Growing up is trial by error. As parents we try to arm our kids with knowledge to make decisions that will keep them safe and allow them to lead fulfilling lives. I hope we’ve done that for our boys. Now if I could just speed up my oldest’s frontal cortex to be fully formed. 🤣

When has worry overtaken you? How are you helping your child to be safe when they want to go it alone?

Prom(ise)…You’ll Have a Good Time

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Did you go to prom?

I went to prom with a friend. I was glad I went, but the whole experience was awkward. I had no romantic interest in my date and ‘back in those days’ prom seemed to have a lot of pressure around advancing sexual relations. Ick! He was a gentleman (thankfully) and I made it through, but have been cautious about pushing prom as a thing you have to do with my boys.

My oldest went to prom with a group of friends. They spent the day together hanging out and getting ready. My sense, based on what he shared afterwards, was prom was meh, but hanging out with his friends prior was pretty awesome.

I didn’t think my youngest would go. I asked if he might want to go with his friends and he didn’t, at least not with everyone that might go in the group. He knew he’d be comfortable hanging out with his best friend, but everyone else could be a bit ‘much’ after a while. 😊

Imagine my surprise when I got a text from our son to my husband and I. He asked if we had anything on the calendar for an upcoming Saturday. I told him no, not thinking much of it. He replied, “well then, I guess I’m going to prom.” Wait. What? I thought and couldn’t wait for him to get home to tell us what changed. He shared a underclass man who’d shown some interest in my son had asked him if he was planning to go. He said he wasn’t sure and asked her if she was going. She said she wanted to go, but didn’t have a date. 😉 I can’t recall what exactly was said next but know she ended up asking my son if he would take her and he said “yes.” When I asked him why he didn’t just ask her, he said, “I thought it was important it be her decision.” 😊

Of course my son, being on the spectrum, doesn’t always catch social cues. He shared some of his concerns — wanting to spend time with his best friend while there, but not wanting to leave her out or make her feel neglected. We talked about ways he could include her and hopefully have a good experience. I reminded him that this was good dating practice and since she is a underclass man she’ll have another chance to go next year. Thinking about it in these terms seemed to reassure him it would okay.

I’ve been fortunate to have experiences I wasn’t sure I would with my kids. My son going to prom (with a date!) is the cherry on top (for now).

What unexpected experiences have you had with your kid(s)?

I will be away next weekend spending time away with family and friends and back at the end of the month.

For All the Moms

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Whether you’re a new mom, old mom, foster mom, adoptive mom, grandmom, great grandmom, mom-to-be, or pet-mom, this is your day!

You love, you give, you sacrifice because you want to. You share and care and help and guide because it’s needed. You cheer, you teach, you exclaim, you weep, because that’s what comes with the role.

To all the mothers out there, I hope you celebrate the day as you see fit — with your family, or alone or somewhere in between. There’s no judgment just appreciation on this day. Soak it up and enjoy!

Marking the Calendar

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What do you have on your calendar you’re looking forward to?

A vacation? A child’s recital, performance, sports event or graduation? A bbq, party or upcoming event?

When my boys entered school, the calendar became more important—when there were breaks, not breaks, and everything in-between. Our family has lived by the calendar (mainly the school calendar) for the past 15 years (K-12) between our two boys.

There is a part of me that loves the calendar — putting fun events/trips/performances down so we have visibility as we near the date. Of course, the calendar also holds doctor’s appointments and meetings. It’s not all fun stuff.

I’m mindful as the school year nears to a close (our school district goes thru mid-June) that the days of us being tied to the school calendar will come to an end. Bitter-sweet. Bitter since that part of our parenting journey will be over, but sweet in that we’re no longer tied to that calendar.

We’ll still be marking our calendar (think we’re in the habit now), but it’ll be much more sparse and likely a reminder of time passing and are kids becoming adults. Gulp.

What role does the family calendar play in your household?