Changing of the Guard — Closing a Chapter

There are times in life when you see change coming. I first was keenly aware of this when my oldest was born. I was entering a new phase of life.

I experienced it again when I went to a friend’s retirement from the military. The ceremony’s main focus was recognizing each service member’s contributions over the years, but once the ceremony finished, they initiated new service members into the military who’d just completed their basic training. It was a bit of a shock to see the (30 years) gap between those leaving the service — what they’d seen, and experienced over their careers, and what the new service members had in front of them.

I started this blog with the publication of my book, Ten Simple Tools for No Regrets Parenting, back in November 2011. Writing the book was important for me — I wanted to flex the creative side of my brain, and needed a new challenge in life. I wanted to arm myself with knowledge to be the best parent I could and navigate parenthood in a way I felt good about. I found good information in various sources, but nothing that was concise that would give me simple tools to use on the journey. It became a passion project for me and I’m glad I brought it to life. It’s allowed me to speak to hundreds of new parents over the years (thank you @pepsforparents) and do this blog.

While doing a blog is considered old-school, what I liked most about it was it forced me to reflect on my parenting experience as I went along. It helped keep me accountable and humble.

I’d get asked about my book’s title on occasion and how I could think parents wouldn’t make mistakes. This comment made me chuckle every time because the title includes no regrets, not no mistakes. I’ve made mistakes throughout my journey, like we all have. It was acknowledging them when they happened and handling the situation differently and better the next time.

I had conversations with my boys my parents never had with me, about their bodies, their fears, their interests, their behavior, hygiene (or lack thereof), and always let them know that I love them no matter what, even when they might not reciprocate. 🥰

I’ve learned patience and how to be more present. I’ve learned I have no control only influence, and I am beyond grateful for them being in my life.

Our next door neighbors (a younger couple) are getting ready to have their first child and it feels like a changing of the guard, where my husband and I finish this phase of life (the boys growing up in our house and under our supervision) and their’s is just starting. I’m excited for them, but excited for my husband and I too, being on this side of the journey.

My goal with this blog was also to help other parents have the parenting journey they want. There is no right or perfect way. There is only learning, growing, owning your mistakes, making amends, and doing better. I hope this blog was helpful to those that read it — whether once or weekly.

I know my parenting journey doesn’t end here, but it changes, and it feels like this is a good place to close this out. If I’m fortunate there might be grandchildren in the future and perhaps you’ll see me again here (or some other format) in how I can be a better grandparent.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for helping me have the parenting journey I wanted to.

For All the Moms

Whether you’re a new mom, old mom, foster mom, adoptive mom, grandmom, great grandmom, mom-to-be, or pet-mom, this is your day!

You love, you give, you sacrifice because you want to. You share and care and help and guide because it’s needed. You cheer, you teach, you exclaim, you weep, because that’s what comes with the role.

To all the mothers out there, I hope you celebrate the day as you see fit — with your family, or alone or somewhere in between. There’s no judgment just appreciation on this day. Soak it up and enjoy!

Gift Exchange

What is the best unexpected gift you received?

Our exchange student is giving us gifts in unexpected ways. Taking them to our favorite parts of town, trying new foods (for them and us), sharing traditions and learning how ours are different from their’s. It’s seeing and appreciating the world in a whole new way for our family.

Most days, there is a period of time where we sit and have long discussions. It can be about their day, what’s going on, explaining to each other our differences. These talks often end with her and I left at the table or on the couch and the topic will turn to boys, what comes after she returns home (university, field of study, making up for missed time with family and friends, etc.). I find in these times I listen (or try to be a good listener), but have an almost uncontrollably urge to share knowledge and give advice. When the student talks, it’s like I’m listening to myself and want to have the conversations with her no one had with me at her age. I’m cognizant I’m not her parent, and stress cultures are different but try to boil anything I say down to what I would have benefited from (respecting yourself, getting clarity on your skills and interests for example) without any judgement. It is a wonderful gift to receive and I’m hopeful a gift to our student (I also feel like I have a small window into some of the joys of grand-parenting and seeing the world through new eyes). 🥰

It’s a gift to be able to share knowledge with others, and learn from others — something our exchange student being here is allowing us to do. We hope they see it as a gift too.

What knowledge is it important for you to share with your child? What are you learning from them?