Sharing good memories with others and recalling them makes me happy.
I can remember looking forward to this when my sons were very young. What memories will we make as a family? What will be those experiences that stay with all of us?
Flash forward many years, I had to wait until my oldest was 7 or 8 before any memories started coming up — they were smaller in nature, what we did, where we were; and not until 10 or 11 before the memories started being collectively shared — memories of things we did as a family, experiences we all remember. There is a certain joy in remembering together.
We talked recently about some moves our family made over the years and how things had changed since my husband and I were first out on our own. I started, “When you moved to a new place, your first thought was making sure electricity, water and phone will be turned on, and cable is installed.” I paused before continuing, “When you move now, it would be water, electricity and the internet.” I smiled, this took us down a path of the differences between how things were for my husband and I as kids and young adults, and how things are different for our kids. We talked about when cable TV first started, how people used to watch movies at home (on VCR), how we had to use maps or an atlas to navigate getting somewhere, and how the first iPhone came out the same year my oldest was born. My sons thought this was hilarious, as did my husband and I. Our discussion led us down the path to many wonderful memories as a family — trips we’d taken, sporting highs, and much more. It was wonderful reminiscing. It took me back to the early days with my boys — wondering when we’d fully get to this point. Reflecting on the dinner conversation I’d say we’ve arrived. I so look forward to what other memories we’ll create and remember together in the future.
When the kids were young and in high chairs it was enjoyable — spooning food into their cute little mouths, watching them make a mess. Then they got older, pickier — mealtime became a struggle and could be exhausting. Now that they are more independent and starting to pull away (particularly the oldest) it can be a challenge to keep them at the dinner table — they eat, answer one or two questions mom or dad asks then exit as soon as they can. Ah t(w)eens!
My husband had a later-than-usual work call and my workday ended after I thought it would so dinner didn’t happen until right around the time the kids started proclaiming how hungry they were. We sat down to eat. My husband was still on his work call and I figured worst case I’d wait and eat with him. Something almost magical happened. My sons started eating, we were talking about our days and then we started to reminisce. I’m not quite sure what prompted us remembering old times, but I asked my son if he remembered his former youth soccer team going to a high school tournament game many years ago (their youth coach was also the coach of the high school team and had invited the kids to watch), and how they had poked fun at the soccer players that were flopping (in an attempt to get a red or yellow card for the other team). The boys were somewhere around 10 or 11 and when the opposing team would “flop” one of the boys would say loudly, “oh, does your boo-boo hurt? “ And another would chime in, “Do you need us to get your mommy?” Then the rest of his teammates would all start chiming in. The high schoolers heard them. The fans (high schoolers and parents) heard them, and no one said a thing. Seems the power dynamic worked in their favor as no one was going to go after these kids. It was humorous to see the kids doing this (I know that’s terrible but I was impressed with how they called out their older peers for faking it). In recalling this story my oldest started laughing. “Oh yea. That was hilarious.” I asked, “You’re the age now of the kids you and your teammates were giving a hard time to. How would you feel if it happened to you today?” “I’d probably think it was funny,” he shrugged. I’m not sure if he would find it as humorous, but the conversation had us talking and laughing well beyond our typical time at the dinner table. We were there so long, in fact, that my husband finished his call and was able to join us for a good period of time.
Oh the joy of dinner. It’s so hard to believe the nights where we’ll have dinner are so fleeting. Only a few years left before our oldest is off. Working to be present and really enjoying our time together whether it’s a ten minute or hours long meal at the table.
What is a favorite mealtime memory for you and your child? How are you finding joy at the dinner table?
I have to admit, since my kids we’re old enough to understand what Christmas is (maybe when they were two or three) my ability to get into the holiday spirit (e.g. enjoying the decorations, music, wanting to bake) has taken more time to get there then before they came, with less time to enjoy it.
There is so much going on leading up to the holidays, right? Concerts, parties, pageants, getting a tree, decorations, gifts, etc. I have often felt I was running on adrenaline right through Christmas Day, and could only relax once the day (or at least dinner) was over. 😊 Now that my kids are older, more independent, and our aware gifts come from Mom and Dad, the fuss to get everything done, to try to create that magic you want your kids to experience, isn’t as intense. It feels as though I’m reclaiming some of that previously-lost-time from Christmas past.
I noticed a joy coming over me earlier this year that I haven’t felt in a while. It is my Christmas spirit coming back. It feels really good to have time to get close to it, and really enjoy it with my family.
With everything going on, are you able to get into the holiday spirit?
Getting a hug from your kid always makes your day a little better, right?
My husband came home from work one day and was greeted by my younger son. “How was your day, Dad?,” he asked. “Fine,” My husband replied. You could tell by his tone that it wasn’t a particularly good or bad day, he did look a bit tired though. “Dad,” my son continued, “you need a reboot! I’m giving you a hug!” My husband couldn’t help but laugh by ur son’s reaction. “A reboot?” my husband asked. “Dad, you’re like a computer. Running all the time. You’re going to ‘crash’ eventually — no computer runs forever. And a hug is the way you reboot.” I was in awe of my son’s insight and the truth of his words. We joked about how Dad ‘crashes’ (naps) too often do he was probably overdue for a ‘reboot.’
As parents, we are going on full speed 24×7. We can sometimes try to get by on caffeine, little sleep, or just ‘touching it out.’ Children are very observant and understand a lot more about what’s going on than we parents sometimes realize. I loved that my son recognized this, and loved that he understood a simple hug could make a world of difference even when you’re not having such a terrible day.
How do you reboot? How does a hug from your child positively impact you?
As a kid, I loved it. As an adult, I dread it. My favorite snow is the kind that sticks to the ground, but not to the street. In other words, snow that doesn’t slow me down.
With this being one of the busiest times of the year, snow seems like a really big inconvenience, but for my kids, it’s something different. It means no school. It means they get to go outside and have a snowball fight. Snow, to them, means fun.
After dreading a pending storm, I had to come to grips with the reality, once again, that I don’t control the weather. The snow is going to come when its going to come. And as much as I’d like for the snow to miss us, my kids are hoping just as hard that it doesn’t.
The snow came, the kids played and I couldn’t help but get caught up in their excitement over it. The snow forced me to pause, take a breath, and appreciate what was going on around me. Snow may be inconvenient, but it brings something else with it — beauty, joy and fun.
How do you make the most of things (like the weather) that inconvenience you during this busy time of year?
With my kids, my favorite part of the season has been something slightly different each year. When they were younger, it was the simplicity of the holiday — they didn’t really know what was going on, so we didn’t really have to do much to get them into the holiday spirit. 🙂 As they became more aware of Christmas, going to see Santa or doing something festive like driving to see holiday lights and hearing their oohs and ahs was special. As they matured, having them help us pick out and decorate a tree brought us all joy. And this year, our sons are getting into giving presents to others. Don’t get me wrong, they are still very much into receiving–we have their lists–but they are starting to think beyond themselves.
At their school aftercare program there is a tree decorated with paper mittens. On each mitten is written something a family needs. All the gifts are very simple: a dish set, gloves, socks, etc. It breaks my heart to know people only want these simple things, yet good to know we can do something about it.
My husband and I have a tradition of buying gifts for others in need each year through our church and where we work. Nothing feels better to me than putting a smile on someone’s face, whether you get to see it or not. When my youngest saw the Giving Tree with the mittens in his aftercare program’s lobby he insisted we pick a family. “Well, we can get the family this!” he said as he handed me the mitten. I looked at it and agreed. “You’re right, we can.” He is very pleased that we are going to be helping someone else out. It warmed my heart to see that my son is interested in giving and understands helping others feels great.
We experience the joy of the season in many ways. This year, giving is going to be an even bigger part of our joy.
How are you and your child experiencing the season? What is bringing you the most joy?
I love everything about Easter: the time of year, the colors and blooms; Easter Egg hunts; family time and all that goes with the holiday. What’s funny is that Easter really did spring (or should I say sneak?) up on me this year. With a work schedule that has been abnormally busy, plus traveling, plus working through a bad cold, I noticed I almost let Easter get away from me. Half the joy, in my opinion, is the planning and getting ready for the day.
I may no longer be a Spring chicken, but I feel like a kid at heart. And while I won’t actually hunt the eggs myself on Easter, I sure will enjoy hiding them and watching the kids find them. It’s joy and happiness that comes from being together–I don’t think that gets old at any age.
How are you taping into your inner-child this Easter season? What helps keep you a Spring chicken?