How Am I Doing as a Mother?

When you think about what kind of mother you are, what comes to mind?

I want my children to see me as someone who deeply loves and cares about their well-being, but am also tasked with teaching them things and keeping them safe. My job isn’t to give them what they want, when they want it, or remove all the obstacles life throws their way, or to always be pleasant. My job is to teach them to navigate these obstacles, appreciate hard work and the rewards of your labor, and how to treat others in a way you feel good about.

Being a parent is challenging. You learn as you go. You learn from the modeling of your own parents and others you respect. It’s ever changing with endless opportunities to learn something new.

When my children were younger and Mother’s Day rolled around, I simply wanted a break. I wanted time to myself, to relax and rest. As my children age, I view Mother’s Day as an opportunity for me to check-in with myself and see if I am being the mother I want to be. Am I teaching my children the things I want to? Am I modeling the behavior I want them to replicate?

I love that people honor their moms on Mother’s Day, and while I’m sure I’ll enjoy a good meal with my family, I’m more interested in how I navigate my role as a parent. How I improve. How I mother my boys in a way I’m proud of and satisfied with after my children are off on their own.

What does Mother’s Day mean to you? How do you celebrate the occasion?

On Mother’s Day

How will you celebrate Mother’s Day today? With flowers? A card? Or a nice meal out?

On Mother’s Day I’ll look forward to sleeping in, having breakfast in bed, and seeing my children smile as they hand me their handmade gifts. While eating my breakfast, once my children have left the room to continue with their play, I’ll think about how grateful I am to have the opportunity to raise them. I’ll think about what I’m most proud of teaching them so far, and wisdom I still want to impart. I’ll think about the journey I am on, and  all the support I have from my husband, other moms—old and new, family and friends. I’ll think about the energy I need to be the mom that I want to be, and remind myself to continue to seek ways to get the recharge I need. I’ll think about my children’s smiling faces and the joy they bring me every day. I’ll think about how quickly they are growing and allow myself a moment to think I’ll still have many more Mother’s Days like this, when I know these will be very limited.  Even though my boys are seven and five, I’m still amazed I gave birth to these wonderful creatures and that I’m a mom, their mom.

Mother’s Day may have started to honor mothers everywhere, but I see it as a day for me to rest and reflect on how blessed I am. No one has to honor me, the honor of being their mother is all mine.

Happy Mother’s Day.