Category Archives: Vacation

18 Summers

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I received a marketing email from a local resort we like to visit that was targeted parents of young children. It’s message in summary — you have 18 summers to make lasting memories with your child(ren) (why not here).

18 summers goes quickly. Whether it’s vacations, dinners in the backyard, walks in the neighborhood, community events, swimming, sporting events, picnics, or camping, there have been lots of wonderful memories.

As my children age, become more independent and less inclined to hang out with mom and dad, I reflect on the time we have had together in summers past. When they join us this summer, even for small things like sitting down with us for dinner, I consider it another treasured memory.

18 summers. That went by fast.

Where are some favorite memories for your family over the summer?

I’ll be off making some new family memories the next two weeks and will be back in September.

Sunburn Pain

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Having a sunburn is no fun, regardless of how it happens.

We traveled for Spring Break and our exchange student was excited about being in sunny weather. She asked if she could spend some time at the pool to get a tan. We gave her sunscreen, told her to put it on, and reiterated we were at the start of our trip, so if she did get sunburned it would make the remainder of the trip less enjoyable.

She laid out in the sun and proceeded to get a pretty bad sunburn. 😞 She powered through the next few days complaining about the pain (we understood), but when it still hadn’t stopped hurting once we returned home several days later, we realized it was worse than we imagined. She went to the doctor and learned she had a third degree burn in a small area and would likely have a scar (or discoloration for a while). She went from loving the sun and not being able to get enough of it, to wearing sunscreen and covering herself constantly. I hate that she had to learn this lesson, but don’t we have to learn from our own mistakes?

I know parenting teens has it challenges and getting your teen to listen to you, and/or take our advice can feel impossible. I remember hearing from MANY people how dangerous the sun can be growing up and have to admit I didn’t wear sunscreen constantly until I was much older. I see the dermatologist once a year now. 😉 It can be painful to see your child suffer, especially when it feels like the situation could be avoided.

Parenting and getting your kids to buy-in to your insights, advice, and recommendations is frustrating when they resist or out-right ignore you, but that’s how we grow (our kids and us). We can guide and do our best to protect, but in the end they are their own person who will have to learn for themselves.

How have you gotten your teen to listen to and take your advice when given?

A Game of Catch

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What is a favorite memory of something you and your child have done together?

Memories that come to mind for me include my boys jumping into my arms in the pool when they were small, going to the zoo together, and teaching them to ride their bikes. As they grew older, the opportunities lessened for us to do things together — they preferred to be with friends, or off on their own. I was grateful for the memories, but yearned for more.

Imagine my surprise when we went away for a long weekend as a family to a place we often visit — with hiking, and the opportunity to get into the water, or just take in the scenery nature provides — when late one afternoon my oldest pulled out a corn hole board and bean bags that was amongst many various games available to anyone there and asked me to play with him. This was a rare ask. I jumped at the chance. We tossed the bags, laughed at how mediocre we were and decided whomever got the next bag in the hole would win. Somehow I was the victor and we laughed as we went back to our room.

The night before we headed home, it was near dusk, and my oldest walked back over to the game bin. He found a baseball glove and a soft-core baseball. “Want to have a catch?,” I asked, fully expecting him to turn me down. Instead he eagerly agreed. He’s been really into baseball lately, particularly watching minor league teams, and I think he has a yearning to play the game (baseball is one of the few sports he didn’t play growing up).

We threw the ball back and forth. After a couple of times he asked me to change things up — throw him a grounder or pop fly — so I changed it up. It reminded me of when I used to practice with my dad when I played softball as a kid. He smiled every time he caught the ball, and even smiled when he missed at first but stopped the ball on the second try. We threw for quite a while. We practiced him dropping back to catch longer and higher balls, and got him running forward to catch shorter balls. I would have stayed out there with him however long he would allow. I was very present in the moment. He decided we’d end throwing the ball once he made one more ‘cool’ catch. He ended up jumping high after dropping back and caught the ball. He was satisfied.

As he returned the glove and ball to the bin he’d gotten it from I said, “Mom’s going to remember this for a long time.” I wanted him to know it was a special time for me. “I’ll probably going to remember it too,” he replied, which was a bit shocking because he rarely admits he enjoys anything, 😊, but he said it in a way I knew was truthful. These moments are so fleeting. I’m grateful my son wanted to have one more catch with his mom. I can only hope there are a few more of these special moments in our future still. 🥰

What’s a treasured memory with your child?

I will be away enjoying some of the last of summer and will return in September.

Roller Coaster

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Do you like thrill rides?

We went on vacation and were fortunate to have our nephew join us. Our nephew and my boys cousin live far from each other, so getting to spend this extended time with him was special.

We decided to check out an amusement park one day while we were together. It was large park, but not too large. The first ride my son and I did was a ride where you sit in a swing, get lifted a couple hundred feet in the air and spin. It felt like flying. My nephew wasn’t a fan of heights and decided to pass. Since our youngest and his cousin are close in age, we allowed them to go off on their own to explore the park and agreed to meet up later.

My husband and I decided to ride a roller coaster. It had been forever since I’d last been on one, so it was fun to find out I could still do it. 😊 After walking around a bit, we realized a lot of rides were closed and we weren’t finding a whole lot of things we wanted to do at the park. We met up with the kids to find out how they were doing.

It turns out the kids were as bored as we were and hadn’t found much to do (frustrating after paying so much money and hoping to have a fun day). We agreed we’d do the log flume ride. Of course, it was closed. 🙁 Then my nephew suggested we all ride the wooden roller coaster. I was surprised he recommended it since it went high and I knew he wasn’t a fan of heights. My youngest, who has only recently done a roller coaster was game, so we were off.

We walked towards the roller coaster and went into the entrance. We were talking excitedly about the ride when my husband asked where our nephew was. I thought he was still with us. We turned around and walked out finding him on a bench just outside the ride. “Nope, I’m not doing it,” he said. Getting up close to the ride made him rethink wanting to do it. We discussed the ride. I looked at my son and asked what the good part was about coming to an amusement park. He looked at me quizzically and after some prompting said, “oh right, it gives us a chance to be brave.” We talked about the ride and how it works, with gravity mainly thrusting the ride forward in hopes it would calm our nephew’s anxiety. He seemed good, so I said, “okay, so are we going to do this?” Thinking it was a done deal and we were going to go. My nephew responded, “are you crazy? I’m not doing that!” I found it both shocking (because I really thought we’d convinced him he could do the ride), and humorous ( how wrong I had been!). I loved how he advocated for himself though and was firm on what he was comfortable with.

Life can throw scary things in your path. Sometimes you get to be brave, and sometimes you opt-out. It can be thrilling but also terrifying, and but there is nothing more important than knowing what your limits are.

How does your child advocate for themselves? How have you helped them overcome a fear?

Back to School Blues

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What did your child think about returning to school?

My youngest loved the lazy summer days of sleeping in late, with an open schedule. He’s big into transit and made new friends and spent time exploring via bus, light rail, and street car (it helps that our state makes these services free of charge for students year-round). As the school year approached, the realization he’d soon go from having nothing-to-do to going all-the-time seriously bummed my normally cheery guy out.

He talked with his father and I about how short this summer was, and how he wished the break were longer (my husband and I smiled, remembering our own childhood memories of summer vacation, and sighed knowing you never get that back).

My son adjusted to the new school year quickly. He reconnected with friends, and is excited for several of his classes and new teachers. The blues he was feeling were gone.

We’ve all experienced that dread (and/or nerves) of something new starting (school, job, place) and wishing for nothing to change, knowing we have to move forward into the dread, realizing our dread is (almost always) worse than the reality. And relieved when we adjust to the new situation. Phew!

How has your child adjusted to the new school year? How do you help them work through nerves or dread around a situation?

Summertime Summertime Sum Sum Summertime…

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If you know the song, I won’t ask you to resist the urge to stop singing it.😊

The arrival of summer makes me happy — sunshine, warmer weather, and vacation around the corner. Whether it’s a camping trip, driving or flying to a new destination, BBQ, pool party, or just doing something different over the weekends, there is something special about summer. The cherry on top for me is the break from shuttling kids around, appointments and everything else that goes along with kids and school.😎

We all have the itch for our summer vacation this year. It’s a trip that was postponed in 2020. My guess is many of you are catching up on delayed trips/time away. My sons can’t wait. We talk about the trip almost daily (even our oldest who doesn’t excite easily is joining in, asking questions, and seems to share our anticipation). We all just…can’t…wait.

What are you most looking forward to this summer?

Have a wonderful Fourth. I’ll be away for a few weeks and back the latter part of July.

Teen Travel

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Oh, I should have seen this coming. Finally able to travel post pandemic-✔️, have itinerary-✔️, have tickets-✔️, have everything packed-✔️. Everyone excited (pause for effect) — sort of???

Three out of four of us were really excited about getting away for our vacation, except for my oldest. There were complaints at every turn. The flight is going to be too long. This is going to be so boring. I’m going to make sure you understand how much I’m not ‘feeling’ this. 😂😭😬

He earned the nickname ‘sour puss’ at one point in the trip because there was no pleasing him. For those of you who have children that are grateful and can find the joy in things, consider yourself fortunate. Our youngest is wired this way. Our oldest isn’t. We’re aware of his need to be more independent and not hang out with mom, dad, and his kid brother, but during our trip it got to a point we had to have an impromptu family meeting in a hotel room to address it.

As a human, I was angry, frustrated, and angry (yes, I meant to say it twice). The planning, and investment, and all the wonderful venues and activities we had lined up weren’t appreciated (which as a human I thought—what am I doing so wrong that I’m raising an ingrate?). In fact, we were getting a lot of ‘why do we have to do this?’, ‘this is dumb,’ etc. As a mom, I had to remind myself to bite my tongue and not say something I might regret. I was the adult and I needed to act like it, but it was so infuriating.

When my husband and I had some time alone, we discussed the situation. I can remember trips as a kid where we were going non-stop all the time and the trip seemed more like a chore (at times) than a vacation. I could relate to how my son was feeling, but still irked at his behavior.

We sat as a family and discussed how the trip was going. We discussed how when one person complains and acts like they don’t want to be there, it negatively impacts all of our experience. “Just because you aren’t having the best time, doesn’t mean you have to ruin it for the rest of us.” Ruin might have been a dramatic word to use, but it had the intended effect. I can’t say my son ‘snapped out of it’, but definitely tempered himself.

We gave him some free time to go on runs, or explore around the neighborhood where we were staying. He even got into finding energy drinks they don’t sell here to bring home to a friend. It became part of a game, where he’d find a convenient store near whatever touristy thing we were doing, and see if he could find a new beverage. It was a compromise, and for the most part it worked.

We’re planning another dream trip (one we’d hope to do many years ago, but we’re unable to) next year. While we’re well into the planning stage we’re asking our kids for more feedback and involvement in the planning so we can all have the best experience possible (if that is possible???😂😭😬).

For me, this trip was about having a once in a lifetime experience with my family. Was it a great trip?✔️ Did we see and do a lot of new things? ✔️ Was it all sunshine and rainbows – absolutely not. Did we learn more about each other and grow as a family? ✔️✔️✔️

How is traveling with your family? What resistance have you had from your child (or teen), and how did you address?

Can’t Wait

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What have you been looking forward to doing post pandemic? Have you done it yet?

Our family has been planning and saving for a ‘dream’ trip for a while. The pandemic took away a few summers for us to do this vacation due to restrictions or challenging logistics. It’s been hard to bide our time, but the trip is upon us and we can’t wait.

We have two-three summers with all of us together before my oldest is out of the house and our chances of taking a family trip significantly dwindle. Time is moving forward with or without the pandemic. 😬 It makes this trip that much sweeter.

The best part about this vacation isn’t so much where we’re going but how we’ll get there. My youngest, with his love of maps and transit has helped determine how we’ll get from place to place. It’s fun to see his passion and knowledge pour out of him. When he was younger and with his grandparents at an amusement park they were trying to determine which way they needed to go to get on a ride. My son replied to his grandparents, “We don’t need no stinking map, I know where we are and how to get there.” And he did. He’s earned the nickname “I don’t need no stinking maps” from his grandparents, but it’s only used when having a map would be handy. 😊

Seeing our kids get involved in the planning has been fun. Our youngest is excited, but also a bit bummed knowing he can’t see everything in one trip. We remind him to figure out how he can get back to these locations for further exploration in the future. Set a goal, make it happen.

It’s fun to anticipate an upcoming event. Then it happens and before you know it it’s over. I’m going to be mindful, and work to keep my family mindful so we take it all in, and be there, with the goal of this dream trip lasting beyond the vacation itself. Hoping to have experiences that we’ll remember happily forever.😎

What are you looking forward to doing as a family this summer? What memories are you hoping to make?

I’ll be off for the next few weeks and back mid-August.

Independence Day

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As we get ready to celebrate July 4th, independence is top of mind.

We ventured to the east coast over Spring Break and visited Washington, D.C., Gettysburg, and Philadelphia, PA. It was a trip my husband and I had always wanted to take our kids on, to allow our kids to get a better understanding of our country’s founding, and see historical and iconic sites.

I’ve talked about my teens starting to embrace their budding independence. Going to these sites made me better appreciate what it took for us (as a country) to become free, and the guts it took to do so. Though youth emerging to adulthood isn’t revolutionary, it can be a battle — trying to figure out who you are and who you want to be — maybe pushing against others (parents, teachers, coaches, friends?) who are trying to tell (or influence) who you are — to be you.

This Independence Day, I am in awe of those that helped paved the way for us to live in this wonderful (though not perfect) country. I’m also in awe of my boys as they fight through the trials and tribulations of becoming the men they will be as there is courage, bravery, and strength, in being uniquely you.

How are you helping your child embrace who they are? How are you encouraging their independence?

I will be taking time off to celebrate the holiday weekend with friends and family, and will return in July.

Disconnected

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Does your child have an electronic device that they enjoy using for fun?

Everyone in my family has an electronic device. We held off on our boys getting smart phones until they were 13 (and rules apply, break a rule they lose the device). We decided for Spring Break we’d head out to a more remote part of our state to disconnect and unwind. A change of scenery would do us all some good. My husband tried warning our kids in these places access to the internet (WiFi or cellular) would be sparse and to be prepared (meaning bring a book, puzzle or game we can play, or download content to your device so you can access it while we’re there).

By day 3 of our trip we came to our first location where internet access was no where to be found. Our oldest had downloaded some music and podcasts, so he was fine. My youngest downloaded nothing and brought nothing to keep himself entertained. You would have thought something major had happened by the way he broke down. “This is the worst trip ever. It’s going to be so boring.” It went on and on. Being on the spectrum he had to explain to me how he was feeling. There were many thoughts that went through my mind as he complained about being bored (such as — how ungrateful, and doesn’t he understand others would kill to be able to go on trips like this?). I heard him out, patted him on the leg and said, “I get that this is hard for you, but this will happen sometimes in life. You might get bored and you have to make the best of it. I’m going to go sit over in those chairs overlooking the beach. Come join me when you’re feeling better.” I walked away.

He joined 30 minutes later. “It took me a while to feel better,” he said, “do you think we could go down to the beach?” “Sure,” I said, and off we headed. The beach was great. My son had a great time and admitted later in the day that the trip wasn’t so bad after all. The next day we were at another location with no connectivity. He had another meltdown and again we found another activity and we made it through another day. When we got home, both boys were grateful to be home and have full access to the internet again.

At dinner that first night back, we talked about the trip and what we enjoyed. We talked about sites we saw, hikes we took, and seeing wildlife. “Okay,” my youngest said when it was his turn, “I had a good time. I know I didn’t handle it well, and I’m sorry. I’ll be prepared next time.” We are heading out later this summer on another trip that will take us to remote areas (again limited to no cellular or WiFi coverage). My hope is that my son will be ready next time with activities to keep himself occupied and allowing himself the time to truly disconnect and enjoy the beauty (nature) around him.

How do you and your family disconnect? How does your child handle situations where they have to be disconnected from their device(s)?