Tag Archives: screen time

Fact vs. Fiction

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How much screen time is your kid allowed?

Ideally my kids wouldn’t be on for more than an hour a day, but I’d be lying if I said that’s how long they are on.

During the school year it’s a little easier to control / oversee, but honestly we’ve tried to let our kids have a little more freedom and better manage themselves (e.g, consequences if you stay up late playing a game and then are overtired and/or don’t do optimally on a test). It’s a hard lesson to have our kids learn but a needed one (in our opinion).

We were sitting outside having dinner recently on a nice weather evening and got on the topic of what my youngest had learned about a region in the world. He was providing great insights and my husband could validate what he was sharing as he’d spent time in this region himself. My husband made an observation, “it’s interesting to me who you use the internet to educate yourself and find reliable sources to do so. Why is that?” We we’re impressed but also a little surprised since so many people seem to think if it’s in the internet it’s real. 😬 Our son recounted a story about watching videos on YouTube and us telling him what he was watching wasn’t factual or accurate. We pointed out the host of the channel was clearly trying to convince people (for entertainment value or subscribers?) of outlandish things such a Big Foot being real. We told him, if there really was a Big Foot, don’t you think someone would have found him/her by now? What does it eat? How long does it live? It can’t live forever. Our son took this information in and clearly decided that he needed to rethink where he got his information from prior to treating it like fact.

Now, take my oldest son. He also watches YouTube, but we’re not sure he uses such a discerning eye as our youngest. In an attempt to show his independence he’ll push back when we try to discuss something (usually politics) as a family and take a different position to be, well different. And I can live with that if he’s only doing this to show he can think for himself. My concern is that he gets influenced to the point he believes the false narrative as truth, vs. getting his information from a more reliable source (eg someone actually trained in the field/respected). I think it’s a struggle many of us are up against. At this point all I know to do is to listen, counter with facts (and point to the sources) in hopes he understands and accepts the facts even if we disagree on which side we’re on.

How are you helping your kid understand fact from fiction, particularly in what they watch?

Have you Reddit?

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Quarantine is helping my husband and I better understand our kids interests. Particularly on the Internet. The computer is in a common space in our house. The only exception is when our boys are doing online school (they can take the pc into their room for their virtual class). My husband and I try to pay attention to what they are watching and periodically check the history to ensure they are looking at appropriate content (we have identified sites that we’ve had to have conversations with our boys about periodically). The pandemic equals more time at home, and more screen time for my kids.

Having dinner one night, we got on the topic of what the kids had learned that day (from school or otherwise). My younger son shared something he learned (I wish I could remember what he said), and it prompted me to ask him where he learned this (as it didn’t sound like something he’d learn in school). “Reddit,” he said. My husband and I looked at each other with slight concern. “Do you think what you learn on Reddit is all true?” I felt I needed to challenge his belief around credible sources. “No, mom,” he said as if it was the dumbest question I could have asked, “but there is some stuff that is true on it.” I have to admit it’s been years since I’ve been on Reddit so I couldn’t further my argument. My older son joined it, “Yea, mom, what’s wrong with Reddit?” My husband and I turned the question back on them. “What’s so good about it?” I asked. “Well, I don’t know. It has pretty good stuff,” my older son said. “It’s not like it’s 4chan.” “4chan, what’s that?” I asked. I liked my kids were sharing with me. I wasn’t sure I was going to like what I heard but wanted to know regardless. “It has just about everything on it. There’s funny memes and videos.” “Yea, 8chan, is way worse. We don’t go there. It’s got a lot of extreme stuff on it,” my younger piped in. “Don’t worry, mom, we aren’t looking at anything bad.” Of course my husband and I would be re-reviewing their browser history soon.

We talked about credible sources for news. I found it laughable when my oldest said, “where should we get our news – Instagram? Facebook?” “No,” both my husband and I replied, “You get it from credible sources that employee journalists that have degrees in journalism.” While I know not all good journalists have journalism degrees it wasn’t worth creating any gray around the subject. “There are newspapers (local and national), TV (local and national), and radio stations, like NPR, that provide you with information that can ensure you really understand what’s going on,” we shared. Those other sites you mentioned may have news on them, but they are more for entertainment than for giving you the facts. My sons seemed to get the point my husband and I were trying to make. I think the websites they have enjoyed may have lost some of their “cool” factor for them too. “Mom, I can’t believe you know what Reddit is” my youngest shared. “You’d be surprised what I know,” I finished. He smiled, looked briefly concerned with thus realization, then smiled again. 😊

I’m glad my husband and I got to know more about our boys, and our boys us.

What are you learning about your child, and their habits, during quarantine?

What, no TV?

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It’s summertime, and our kids have more free time on their hands. They are in camps during the week, but when they are not at camp all they want to do is watch TV.

When I was a kid, I wanted to watch TV 24×7 if my parents would allow it. I can remember one particular summer my mom told me that my sisters and I that our TV time would be limited to three hours a day. Three hours a day, that’s outrageous! There’s so much we’ll be missing! I thought. I can remember discussing this decision with my neighbor friend whose mom was trying something similar with he and his sister. “It’s not fair,” we both agreed. I can’t recall how closely the TV time was held to, but do recall we were prompted to play outside more, and it was okay to be bored.

With my own kids, my husband and I were noticing a trend…if allowed, our sons would watch TV 24×7. The TV seemed to be on any time we were inside the house. It was becoming a problem. While I hated the idea of restricting my kids TV time to three hours (because I could remember how much I hated it as a kid), I knew it was what we were ultimately going to have to do.

My husband and I sat down our kids and talked to them about limiting their TV time. Our conversation was met with “What?” “That’s not fair!” “You’re so mean!” “We’re going to be so bored!” This was expected, but still not easy to hear. “Guys, we’re not doing you any favors by letting you sit around and watch TV all the time, there is too much life to live, and you’re not living it if you sitting on a couch.” My sons may not have liked our message, but they understood it. “What are we going to do to pass the time?” my son asked. “You’ll have to figure that out. You can ride your bike, play out in the backyard, create something with your Lego, there’s all sorts of things you can do, it’s really up to you.”

We started our new schedule, and it was hard for everyone. It took some getting used to. It’s still taking some getting used to, but what I found was when my husband and I were firm with what would be allowed (e.g. if you watch three hours of TV first thing in the morning, that’s it.) we saw that our boys could adjust…it might be done begrudgingly, but they could do it.

I’ve seen them be more creative with their time since we implemented the change. There have been days when the three hours have been exceeded, but it’s been the exception. With summer vacation here, our timing feels right — there is so much to do, explore and see, it would be a shame if it were mostly spent inside.

Have you ever had to limit screen time? What worked for you? What helped your child make the adjustment?

Happy Fourth! I’ll be taking time off with the family and will be back following.