Kid Pride

What makes you proud?

My youngest son starred as Aslan, the lion, in his school’s production of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. He has participated in school plays each year, and has had speaking parts, but this year’s role was as one of the lead characters meant more lines to memorize, and more pressure to get things right.

We rehearsed the lines over a few weeks. I was impressed at how much he had learned on his own, and really enjoyed working with him on his lines– it made me feel like I was helping him in some way.

Following the final rehearsal he came out of the dressing room looking down. I could tell he needed some space. I know how tense it can be in the final days of practice and thought maybe some of his fellow actors, or the director had given him some feedback he didn’t want to hear. When we were close to leaving the building we saw the director, who asked my son if he would come early the next night so he and the other leads could work on a couple of scenes. My son broke down. “I’m not having fun anymore. I don’t want to do this.” I was caught off guard by the comment and was thinking how do I get him back onboard? Aslan not being in the play.would be noticed. 😊 Thankfully, the director approached my son in a way that indicated this wasn’t the first time one of her actors had second thoughts about their role. “What’s going on?,” she asked. “People are going to laugh at me. The other actors aren’t taking the play seriously. It’s going to be horrible.” The director gave a knowing look as if she’d had this conversation with many others in the past, and reminded him of plays from previous years “other times we were a lot less prepared than we are now and everything turned out fine.” She spent more time talking my son through the moment, giving other examples about actors who were nervous or stressed or didn’t think others were taking things as seriously. She finished by telling him how important he was to her. “You’ve been acting for me for years, and have grown so much. You don’t realize it now, but you’ve got this. You’re going to do great tomorrow.” She reminded him of the first play he did for her, Elephant and Piggy. He laughed remembering his part from long ago. His demeanor changed. He left the dark cloud he’d been under and seemed to move to a lighter brighter one.

Opening night he was in better spirits. He was relaxed, and seemed more ready. He nailed the performance. I realize I’m his mom, but I’m not sure anyone could have done a better job than he did. All family members who were there couldn’t have been prouder of him, but I don’t think that mattered. What did was that he realized what he was capable of, and that he was proud of himself, and nothing feels as good as that.

What makes your child proud?

Sing

Getting your child to do something they don’t want to is hard.

While reading the elementary school’s weekly newsletter we noticed our oldest son’s class was participating in a school concert on Friday night. When we asked our son about the concert happening, (because he hadn’t said a word about it), he shrugged his shoulders and say, “yea?” It was clear he wasn’t excited about the upcoming event.

As Friday approached, he started to voice his desire of not wanting to participate. “I don’t want to sing in the concert. None of my classmates are going to be there. It’s just going to be me!” he said. Because the concert was more of a showcase of what the kids had been learning in music class than a formal recital we honestly didn’t know how many of his classmates would be there. We didn’t want to stress him out, but we thought it was important he participate. It would be easy to sit out and not be there, but what message would that send our son?  That you can skip things that are uncomfortable in life? Or it’s okay to not show up even though others have put in time to help you learn? It felt too important, like we were going to be missing teaching him an life lesson (e.g. sometimes you have to do things in life you don’t want to do) if we didn’t make him go.

As we got closer to the concert, he became more vocal. “I don’t want to go. This is going to be so embarrassing!” I was preparing myself to have to threaten him with privileges he’d lose if he didn’t, but offered this alternative instead. “If you sing in the show, maybe even enjoy it, we might do something fun after the show. Or you can sing in the show, not enjoy yourself and show how unhappy you are about having to participate, and we can just go home. It’s your choice.” He grimaced. He had a decision to make.

The concert went fine. He had classmates there, with two that unexpectedly did dance moves during each of the songs that made for a fairly entertaining show. It loosened most of the kids up and by the third song, they seemed relaxed and enjoying themselves, even joining in with the other kids moves.  Even my son joined in. I’m pretty sure I may have even seen him smile.

At the end of the show he joined us. I asked, “So, how was it?” “Not so bad,” he responded, “can we go to the pie place?” I couldn’t help but smile myself. “Sure,” I said. We headed out and from his body language my son appeared to be both proud of himself (for doing the show), and surprised (that he actually enjoyed it). Funny how that works.

How do you handle situations where you child is reluctant to participate?