Gender Fluidity

Gender fluidity is not something I gave much thought to prior to becoming a parent. I thought in terms of having a boy or a girl and the joys and challenges that came with each.

As our culture has become more aware, and with strong individuals who have been brave enough to be their true selves, it’s opened conversations and minds on what it means to be transgender, LGBTQ, and helped bring awareness and appreciation for those who do not identify non-binary or non-conforming to a single gender. As a parent it has given my husband and I an opportunity to explore our sons knowledge, and experiences around the topic.

This didn’t just happen out of the blue. We’ve continued to read as a family. Moving from To Kill a Mockingbird to Call of the Wild. We started a third book, but it wasn’t holding our interest, so we let our youngest pick the next book. He suggested we read The 57 Bus: A True Story of Two Teenagers and the Crime That Changed Their Lives by Dashka Slater. He had started to read it at school prior to the school closing due to Covid-19. He thought the book was good and hadn’t finished it. We got a copy and started to read.

We are still early in the book but are learning one of the main characters is non-gender conforming and prefers the pronoun “they” vs. he/him or she/her. It’s written in such a way that while the character is non-conforming that is secondary to who they are. They are true to themselves and good at finding others that will accept them as they are. They are confident in their own skin. Who doesn’t want that (for themselves or their child)? It’s lead to us having truly wonderful conversations with our boys, talking about diversity and acceptance. Everyone is essentially different — it’s a matter of how outwardly visible those differences are, right? — so many of us can more easily hide (or try to) our differences because they aren’t outwardly visible, but oh how freeing it feels when you let your full true self be known.

I’m grateful my son recommended this book, and look forward to us continuing to grow together in appreciation of everyone regardless of how they identify.

How are you helping your child understand and appreciate differences in others?

Classic

What activities are doing with your family to pass the time while we’re physically distancing ourselves?

Puzzles have made a resurgence. Reading. Binge watching shows. Watching or reading classics. Sewing. Playing music. Gardening. So many wonders things I see folks doing around me.

We have picked back up reading as a family. Our oldest was assigned to read To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee prior to his school closing. As a book I’ve loved, I yearned to read it again, and suggested we read it together. Everyone agreed. We take a chapter each and read to each other most nights after dinner. We talk about the character in the books, how things were different in our country regarding attitudes and accepted stereotypes in the 1930s, we talk about class, opportunity (or lack there of), knowing your neighbors (in only a way you can in a small town), and passing judgement before having the full picture (or all the facts). It’s also a great opportunity for my husband and I to see how far our children’s reading skills have come (this book is not the easiest to read as it has many challenging (dare I say advanced?) words).

My husband and I were reflecting on the opportunity being stuck in the house has given us — being able to read with our kids again. We thought those days were long behind us, and have really enjoyed revisiting this activity. We enjoy seeing our kids interested in what we’re reading — in a way that shows the book is making them think, and helping them open their eyes to bigger issues we still struggle with in our society today. I’m grateful we’ve had this opportunity to do this as a family. I look forward to seeing what we do next once we finish this classic.

What activity are you enjoying doing as a family during this time?