Tag Archives: Journey

Parental Care

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When I started my parenting journey I never thought how I might have to parent my parents one day.

I don’t think any of us like to think about our parents aging, or struggling to do what they’ve done with ease up to this point.

One of my parent’s has cancer and dementia. The other is their primary caregiver. Both are doing relatively well considering the circumstances. It’s hard to see someone who raised you lose their capabilities and contrast it with your own journey of becoming a parent and being excited when your children achieved the capabilities my parent is now losing — mobility, ability to cook, and drive. I now get to take care of my parent the way they took care of me growing up — helping them up, lending an arm for stability, cooking a meal for them, driving them to an appointment. It’s both joyful and heartbreaking.

I don’t know what all is ahead of me on this journey, but I’m taking in all that I can, while I can — learning more about my parents’ lives, how they want to be remembered when they’re no longer with us, and what I can do to help them during this transition — and learning all the things that go into end of life preparation beyond having a will in place. It’s good for my husband and I to know so we can better plan for our own future hopefully a few decades from now.

I’m grateful for the time we have, whatever that is. I’m grateful for what I’m learning, and I’m grateful for my parents and the loving and stable environment I was raised in.

Are you dealing with an aging parent? What similarities are you seeing between your parenting journey and caring for your parent(s)?

How Am I Doing as a Mother?

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When you think about what kind of mother you are, what comes to mind?

I want my children to see me as someone who deeply loves and cares about their well-being, but am also tasked with teaching them things and keeping them safe. My job isn’t to give them what they want, when they want it, or remove all the obstacles life throws their way, or to always be pleasant. My job is to teach them to navigate these obstacles, appreciate hard work and the rewards of your labor, and how to treat others in a way you feel good about.

Being a parent is challenging. You learn as you go. You learn from the modeling of your own parents and others you respect. It’s ever changing with endless opportunities to learn something new.

When my children were younger and Mother’s Day rolled around, I simply wanted a break. I wanted time to myself, to relax and rest. As my children age, I view Mother’s Day as an opportunity for me to check-in with myself and see if I am being the mother I want to be. Am I teaching my children the things I want to? Am I modeling the behavior I want them to replicate?

I love that people honor their moms on Mother’s Day, and while I’m sure I’ll enjoy a good meal with my family, I’m more interested in how I navigate my role as a parent. How I improve. How I mother my boys in a way I’m proud of and satisfied with after my children are off on their own.

What does Mother’s Day mean to you? How do you celebrate the occasion?