Grateful

What are you thankful for?

I practice being grateful daily. Not because I have to, but because I learned a long time ago I have a lot to be thankful for and when I acknowledge it, even in the littlest of moments, it makes me feel better.

I have worked to instill this practice in my sons. I point out the beauty around us, comment on our blessings (food on the table, warm beds to sleep in), and have taught them to¬†give thanks for all the things in our lives at meals — it’s common for my boys to give thanks for what’s top-of-mind: they’ve given thanks for Lego, candy, napkins and anything in eyesight that catches their attention. It’s one of my favorite parts of the day.

We love Thanksgiving in our house, but thankfully it’s not the single time of year we pause to give thanks. I recently found an old art project one of my sons — a turkey’s body made by the shape of his hand. He colored the turkey, put a pilgrim hat on it and wrote the turkey saying, “Happy Thanksgiving!” (ironic, eh?). ūüôā I’m thankful I still have this piece of artwork, and the memories that come with it.

There is much to be grateful for.

What are you grateful for?

I will be off to celebrate the holidays with family and will return in December. Happy Thanksgiving!

The Halloween Miracle

How old is too old to trick-o-treat?

My boys are still in elementary school. My oldest is in the 5th grade and is quickly becoming a young man. At least he thinks he is. He is at that age where you want to start to lean towards grown-up behavior (being more conscientious of your appearance and how you are perceived by others) and losing his childhood innocence.

I thought he would trick-o-treat throughout elementary school. Imagine my surprise when I asked him in early October what he wanted to be for Halloween and his response was, “Oh, I’m not going trick-o-treating this year. I think I’m getting to old for it.”¬†Instead of¬†accepting¬†what he said, I immediately tried to get him to change his mind. “Are you sure? There aren’t many more years you’ll¬†want to go trick-o-treating.” “You love trick-o-treating why wouldn’t you want to do it this year?” “Aren’t your friends and classmates dressing up?” And finally, “I’ll level with you, there are only a few precious years where Mom and Dad get to do kid things with you, trick-o-treating is one of them,¬†let us take you trick-o-treating, you don’t even have to dress up.” Oh, it was pathetic. I was a bit disappointed in myself for how close I had¬†gotten to almost begging¬†my son to let us experience this with him one¬†more year.¬†If he doesn’t want to do it, I need to respect that and not try to manipulate him into doing it one more time. I decided to back off–kind of.

A week went by. “Have you changed your mind by chance about trick-o-treating this year?” I asked. “Nope, not going to do it,” he replied. Drats I thought.

And another. “Are you sure you don’t want a costume?” I tried again. “No. I already told you. I’m not going trick-o-treating” he reminded me. Okay, okay, I just need to accept this whether I like it or not I concluded. I didn’t bring it up again.

Then it happened. After several days¬†following my last attempt, my son came home. “How was your day?” I asked. “It was okay,” he shared then continued, “Mom, remember how I said I wasn’t going to dress up for Halloween? Well, I changed my mind. I think I want to be an Army soldier.” It was hard for me to hide my joy (not to mention my relief — I would get one more year of this tradition. Yes!). “Of course!” I told him. He smiled. And while it would be easy to say I got what I wanted,¬†I think we both did. He gets to pretend to be a soldier (something he’s currently interested in) and I get my little (okay, not so little) boy for my one year.

This was a miracle, a Halloween miracle, and I am ever so grateful for it.

How do you handle your child outgrowing a treasured tradition?

 

Pok√©mon Go Will Save Us?

Are you competitive? Is your child?

I learned about competition when I joined my neighborhood swim team when I was in elementary school. It only took one meet for me to recognize that if I was going to enjoy being on the team I needed to be competitive. The transition from not being aware of the benefits of being competitive to understanding them was quick. By the next meet, I was in it to win it. I was going to swim my fastest, I wanted to win!

My oldest son has also embraced his competitive side. He enjoys sports and is always looking to try something new to test his skills and capabilities. He is passionate about winning and struggles with defeat.  I have questioned why we place such a high value on competition based on seeing the highs and lows my son has experienced, and I have in competitive situations.

I came across the documentary, I Am, several years ago thanks to Oprah.¬† Tom Shadyac was exploring happiness after experiencing great success (winning!) but not feeling happy. He invited scientists and other subject matter experts to explore the topic with him and the output was the documentary. One idea that emerged was that the long-term survival of species (ants, for example)¬†depended largely on¬†cooperation. In these species cooperation¬†is highly valued and competition has low/no value. Being a competitive ant doesn’t serve the colony well. It would in fact, be counter to¬†a colony’s survival. Humans still have a ways to go. Our children aspire to be elite athletics, movie starts, singer or someone ‘famous.’ Competition to be number 1 is still fierce, but what if cooperation became more highly valued and easy (or easier) to achieve?

My oldest son loves Pok√©mon Go. It’s become something he and I have connected over. We take walks together so he can play, and I play Pok√©mon Go when I travel so he and I can stay connected. He asked me to take him to a local park that is known for having lots of Pok√©mon. When we got to the park, I was amazed. There were literally hundreds of people–mainly kids but also teens and adults, of all shapes and sizes, colors and creeds–all working together to catch Pok√©mon. Pok√©mon present themselves to you on your device, if you and other Pok√©mon players are in the same location, it presents the same Pok√©mon to all, not a select few. So instead of people fighting over who is going to catch the Pok√©mon, everyone has an equal chance. It then becomes a matter of what technique you use (candy, great ball, ultimate ball, etc.) to catch the Pok√©mon. In the park, not only were the players sharing information about where the Pok√©mon were that they were finding, but what techniques they were using to catch the Pok√©mon so others could catch¬†them¬†to. It was cooperation at it’s finest. Observing everyone working together was really inspiring. While I was reluctant to embrace Pok√©mon Go when it first launched based on some of the initial press the game was getting, I’ve become a fan. And after seeing what I did at the park, I’m an even bigger fan. If something like this game can bring people together, just think of the possibilities for the human race.

Where have you seen people working together in an unexpected place? Where have you, or your child, found cooperation outdo competition?