Tag Archives: Better

New Year – New Day

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Any New Year’s resolutions?

Not here. Resolution by definition is deciding to do or not do something. I resolved not to make any resolutions when it seemed to cause me more stress than hope for positive change.

I’ve never encouraged my sons to make resolutions either. When my sons were young, we talked about how a new day brings an opportunity to start over — whether that’s in school, at home, in extra curricular activities, with others, etc. Knowing each day is a reset seems to soothe tough situations — getting upset, getting in trouble, struggling with anything (school work, assembling or taking apart a toy, trying something new or hard, etc.). Trying to do better, be better — whether that’s learning something new; being kind(er), or empathetic towards others; having patience; allowing yourself to feel your feelings; working through feelings; and the list goes on — is a daily goal I think we all should have.

As much as I’d like to think I know, I’m aware there is always more to learn. I work on this daily, whether it’s with coworkers, the boys I’m raising, my spouse, friends I engage with, and anyone else I interact with. I think ‘what went well’ (e.g., keep it up), ‘where was there a misstep or area I can I improve?’ (E.g., how can I improve in a future situation – listen more? Be more patient? Feel my feelings?, and work through them before responding?, etc.). It’s helpful for me, and a constant. I don’t stress about it because my goal is always the same — allow myself to notice how I ‘show up to others’, so I can not only be better but show up in life like I want to. I trying to arm my kids with this tool as well.

What do you resolve to do this new day or New Year?

I Have a Dream

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What are your dreams for your child?

I’m inspired by Martin Luther King, Jr’s dream for his:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

As a teenager I questioned my parents on why they had had kids — the world is a tough place, why would you want to bring someone into it?  My dad said, “To leave the world a better place. You want your children to do better than you did.” I got it.  Wanting your child to be a better person, a better contributor to the world than you are is a lofty goal.  It is my dad’s dream for his own children, and I’m hoping to achieve it with my own.

It got me thinking about what my dreams are for my own children. I want them to be a better person than I am. I want them to contribute in a more meaningful way. But my dreams going even further. I too want them to live in a country where they are not judged by their outward appearance (and not judge others by their’s), but by the content of their character. I want them to appreciate the beauty all around them, even in the most common places; to care for others, to be empathic, understanding and giving; and to experience as much joy in their life as possible.

As a parent, I have to evaluate what I’m doing to make the dreams I have for my boys a reality. I can be open about my dreams with my children, and try to get them to see the benefit of the dreams I have for them, but ultimately they will have to decide which of my dreams they want adopt and make their reality.

What dreams to you have for your child?

Thank you, Martin Luther King, Jr., for your inspiring words.