Category Archives: Halloween

Fall Favorites

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My boys are getting older and growing into themselves and their independence. While I miss somethings about them being younger, we all agree this time of year reminds us of some of our favorite things — going to the pumpkin patch, hot apple cider, decorations, costumes, future holidays, and more.

Many of these customs haven’t changed much over the years with some slight exceptions — the kids don’t wear costumes anymore (or will, but it takes a lot of prompting), and trick-o-treating behind us. Pumpkin patch, cider and decorations remain the same.

I’ve got a bit lazy of the years in terms of fall decorations, only putting out what’s relatively quick and easy to put up and take down. I also believe the boys don’t care as much about decorations anymore, but have found they have their favorites. My youngest asked if we’d put up our skeleton streamers for Halloween. They are made of tissue paper and are beyond crinkled from years of use. They make me laugh every time I put them up 😂 — do these even look like skeletons anymore? My youngest loves them and asked if we’d put them up one last year (before he graduates and if out of the house). We agreed.

See what I mean?🤣

As we transition from Halloween to Thanksgiving and Christmas we’ll repeat our traditions with modifications, of course. After all, even our favorites wear out or we outgrow them.

What is your family’s fall favorites?

Favorite Halloween

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What’s a favorite Halloween memory for you?

As my kids get older I can’t help but think of their costumes over the years. The ones I made for them when they were small – pirate costumes when they were babies (white ones, black pants, red scarf tied at their waist and a small pirate hat); and the ones they picked out as they grew – Thomas the Tank Engine and Lightning McQueen for my youngest, and Star Wars and Sports themed costumes for my oldest.

My favorite is when we dressed them up as Frog and Toad from the book series Frog and Toad are Friends. We enjoyed reading these stories with the kids, and we all found Frog and Toad very endearing. I came across the costume idea when I was in a thrift store and saw a child’s vest that looked like something Frog would wear. I found two winter hats (one for each boy) and put two puff balls on each and glued black felt eyes onto the puff balls. We dressed them in thrift clothes that mimicked pretty closely what they wear in the books. We have a sweet picture of them with them holding hands (which I’m sure we prompted them to do) on a friend’s couch in their costumes. In my opinion, they were adorable.

Every Halloween has favorite memories, costumes, parties, decorations, pumpkin patches, even scares. What is your family’s favorite?

Pumpkin Patch

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Cool crisp air, leaves changing colors, apple cider. It’s definitely a favorite time of year for our family.

We went to a pumpkin patch that’s become a tradition for us. We arrive, take in surrounding area that has different decorative pumpkin, squash, and gourd displays; check out what the local vendors are offering, get a wheelbarrow and head out towards the fields to get our pumpkins. Once we have our pumpkins we typically head out to get a meal nearby before heading home. I take LOTS of pictures each time we go — trying to remember it all. 😊 My oldest reminded us that since this would be his last year doing this with us (gulp), he’d get to pick where we ate lunch following. 😂

The pumpkin patch looked different than previous years — fields had been rotated, the corn maze was gone (as the corn, in the new field, was only three feet tall), but it didn’t matter because we were there together. Making our way through the fields to find our pumpkins, enjoying cider, and just being with each other.

It wasn’t anything special per se, but was special because of the tradition and memories and the wonderful feelings that come with it.

I do love this time of year.

What Fall traditions does your family have?

Pushing through Scary

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What everyday situation(s) scare you?

Getting a spider out of the house would be high on my list. For my boys it’s different. For my oldest it’s girls. It makes him so uncomfortable he just avoids, avoids, avoids. Doesn’t want to talk about. Doesn’t want to deal with it. My youngest it’s making friends. Or the knowledge it’s harder for him, as being on the spectrum makes it more challenging for him to pick up on social cues. He has friends, but hasn’t made new ones at his new school yet.

My husband and I feel like our kids listen to us as if we are Charlie Brown’s teacher sometimes – wah wah wah. It takes hearing advice or insight (even if it’s exactly what my husband or I shared) from another adult for the words to land. For my youngest, this truth occurred when he was at the doctor’s office for an annual check-up. He was sharing his struggles (our doctor also tries to assess their patients mental health along with their physical), and the doctor, who had some knowledge of the high school he goes to, encouraged him to join an after school club, or start one if the club he’d be interested in didn’t exist. My son nodded his head, but I could tell he wasn’t truly buying in (after all his father and I had encouraged him to do the same thing. Our son had been willing to do theatre but not pursue his other interests where he’d hoped to connect with others that share his passion for geography and transit.). Regardless, the doctor opened my son’s mind to revisit this.

During dinner we discussed the doctor’s visit including revisiting school clubs. My son resisted (it doesn’t exist), didn’t want to start a new club (no one else will want to join). He was digging in his heels regardless of what might husband or I said. We finished the conversation telling him that often in life, you have to take the lead, regardless how scary, to make things happen. If you don’t take action you’re just living in someone else’s world. That seemed to stick.

He went to his room. My husband and I went about our normal after dinner activities. We weren’t sure, if anything, our son would do in regards to what we had talked about. Lo and behold, within an hour he came out of his bedroom smiling a pretty big smile. “Mom,” he said, “I want to show you something.” I followed him into his room. He’d clearly been searching his school club site and found one that was for world (geography) enthusiasts. We read the description together. “You definitely can contribute here,” I said. He nodded (this time a confident you’re-right-mom kind of nod), and shared he’d reach out to the teacher advisor to join. His mood was lifted. Mine was lifted. He was proud he’d taken an action and saw the positive result that can come.

It can be scary to try new things including (perhaps especially?) meeting new people. Taking action, even if it isn’t always successful, allows you to grow, lessens the fear with practice, and more often than not, leads to success. I’m going to keep pushing my boys to take chances, and have more ownership in their life experience. Now, how to get my oldest to consider opening himself up to love??? 🥰

What scares your child? How are you arming them to break thru the fear?

Facing Fear

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While Halloween is this weekend and many are looking to be scared, my youngest was faced with a fear unrelated to ghosts and goblins, but something that had been haunting him for a while — riding a bike on public streets.

My son’s school has teamed up with an organization that has the students ride bikes to a destination within a few miles of the school one day a week. When they reach their destination they do a service project and then bike back to school. It’s been a great activity for the kids. My husband and I were curious how our son was doing. He had had a bad experience at a younger age when he biked on a public road accidentally running his bike into a car (I blogged about it previously). When we asked how biking went he gave short answers, and was vague. We started pressing him for further details and he confessed that he hadn’t been riding bikes with his classmates and had been staying behind at school with the teachers. We asked him why he hadn’t talked about this before, and he shared he had been embarrassed that he couldn’t do it. We talked through options: we could help him practice riding with us at home in our neighborhood to get him more comfortable, he could talk to his teachers about ways to help him get more comfortable. He didn’t take us up on our suggestions. Another week went by, another excuse why he didn’t ride.

The night before our son’s school was due to ride bikes again, my husband and I sat our son down. We stressed the importance of pushing his comfort zone, and his need to have success riding his bike. We told him our expectation was he would ride, and working through his fear was a skill he needed to develop, and that building it now, would help him when he needs to face uncomfortable situations in the future. He agreed he would ride.

I half expected to learn my son didn’t ride his bike again, but was pleasantly surprised when he texted me on his way home from school alerting me that he had ridden with the group the entire time. I was so proud of him, but what made me happiest was seeing how proud my son was of himself. He was glowing. What a wonderful moment to share.

What does your child fear? How are you helping them work through any fears?

Pumpkin Carving

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What are your Halloween traditions?

Pumpkin carving is one of ours. When my kids were young, my husband and I would carve a pumpkin for them. As they’ve grown older they are starting to carve the pumpkins more on their own. It’s one of those moments for me, as a parent, that registers as special every time we get together for this tradition. It’s a passing of time, but so enjoyable to see how my kids are growing and becoming young adults, and how they interact with their cousins, and other family members, and friends present. It’s something we look forward to every year.

Trick-or-treating and dressing up for Halloween is something my kids seem to be outgrowing, but I don’t see them outgrowing our pumpkin carving tradition (or at least anytime soon). We all just have too much fun doing it together.

What are your family’s Halloween traditions? Which one(s) do you think will last beyond their childhood?

Lessons from the Corn Maze

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Have you ever been lost?

It’s not a good feeling to be lost in an unfamiliar setting. Except, perhaps, when that unfamiliar setting is a corn maze.

We went to our favorite pumpkin patch with other family members to pick out pumpkins, snap pictures, and drink some cider. The kids wanted to do the corn maze. We’ve had varying degrees of success with corn mazes. When they were younger, we’d accompany the kids. As the children grew older they wanted to show us they could do the maze on their own. What’s the harm? we’d thought. One year four kids went in, three came out. We waited, and waited, and right around the time we were going to go in we saw my son walking through the corn. Not the maze. The corn. He had gotten so frustrated by the dead ends he’d decided he would make his own way out.

In our most recent trip, my nephew and brother-in-law went into the maze a few minutes after my boys and their older cousin had entered. We were surprised to seem them re-emerge before the older kids did. “Did you see the others?” I asked. He shook his head no. Hmmm. I wasn’t too concerned because I knew the kids would figure a way out — even if it meant walking out through the corn.

The kids finally emerged. They were laughing and at ease. “Did you all get lost?” I asked. “Yea,” my older son commented, “there were so many dead ends.” The kids walked on, un-phased by the situation they had come from. They left the maze behind without thought and walked towards wheelbarrows filled with pumpkins.

I thought about how often in life we can feel lost — the first day of school, moving to a new place, starting a new job, becoming a parent — and how you have to quickly figure out how to acclimate to make it through any discomfort you feel. There is always a way to work through being uncomfortable. Whether it’s taking a straight path (walking through the corn) or being willing to let yourself be lost for a while knowing you’ll eventually figure things out (like my kids and their cousin not letting the dead ends defeat them or dampen their experience).

How have you handled times when you felt lost? How are you helping your child acclimate when they do?

Reluctant Team Player

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Has your child ever complained about helping out?

In my house, that would be a rhetorical question. Absolutely. Almost every time.

My son is part of a group that holds fundraisers during the year to fund trips for camping and other activities. One of those fundraisers is selling pumpkins. He and his group help pick the pumpkins, set up the sales stand, the boys and their families help sell them, and then everyone helps take down the pumpkin stand after it’s over. It’s a lot of work, but also a lot of fun.

My youngest son, who is not part of this group, complained when we told him he’d be participating in helping in the different activities we’d be doing as s family — getting pumpkins off the truck (set-up), a selling shift, and helping with clean-up (tear down). He whined. He argued. He did NOT want to do any of these activities. Yet, every single time he got there his mood changed from grumpy to happy pretty quickly. While a reluctant team player, he liked the teamwork and sense of purpose in doing something helpful.

There is something about working together to get something done. Whether it’s part of your job, a group, or volunteering. The feeling of purpose and seeing tangible results can be very satisfying.

Is your child reluctant to help out? How do you get them to see/experience the benefit?

The Last Halloween?

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What was your child dressed up as for their first Halloween?

Both my boys went as pirates their first Halloweens. Black pants, white onesie with a red scarf threaded around their middle. Put on a small pirate hat and you had yourself one cute kid.

My oldest son decided last year he had aged out of trick or treating though I think he had second thoughts Halloween night. This year he’s definitely decided he’s ‘too old’ (and even after finding him a Rick and Morty costume — when he turned that down I knew he was done). My youngest is into cats, and found a leopard costume, so I get to experience Halloween at least one more year with my son.

Each year I wonder, will this be the last year? Why must time go so fast?

My boys are already thinking to the holidays and festivities beyond Halloween. Their excitement is contagious. It helps me get through the reality that they are leaving childhood behind (or will be very soon). And while this may be my last Halloween trick or treating with one of my boys, there will be other memories to make and milestones to look forward to.

Scary how time flies! Happy Halloween!

Costumes You Can’t Buy on Amazon

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What’s the Halloween costume you’ve worn or made that you’re most proud of and why?

Growing up, I often struggled with what to be for Halloween. As an adult, I wish I could say I was creative with my costumes when I was younger, but my memory tells me otherwise. I was a ballerina one year (not because I fancied being one, but because I already had the outfit from ballet class), a princess or fairy (I recall wearing a blue dress that I loved) another, a funny man one year (I dressed like this because my parents had a silly mask that consisted of glasses with a big nose and a mustache. My dad lent me a hat and a coat that were too big to go along with the outfit. It wasn’t because I wanted to be a funny man, but because we couldn’t come up with anything else), and there may have been a cat or mouse in the mix. My costumes for the most part had little imagination and were pretty uninspired.

My husband, on the other hand, grew up with homemade costumes. One year, he and his brothers went as the Fruit of the Loom guys. I was impressed! I wanted my kids to have memories of better, more inspired costumes. For each of my sons first Halloweens, I put them in white onesies, black pants, used a red oversized scarf and tied it around their waist and put a pirate hat on their head. It was super simple, and easy to take on/off (changing diapers and clothes was a synch). They liked reading the Frog and Toad books, so one year they went as Frog and Toad. I thought, ‘What can I do that’s easy?‘ Inspiration hit me again — I went to Goodwill and found clothes similar to what Frog and Toad would wear. Then I got them wool hats, added two large white puff balls on each cap adorned with small crescent-shaped pieces of black felt (with stick-on back) for the eyes. The kids could take off the hat whenever they wanted — and didn’t seem to mind when we kept asking them to pose together for pictures. 🙂 There were several years where a store came to the rescue. I did attempt to add to the costume. My youngest was a spider one year. He loved jumping with excitement, so I decided he wouldn’t be a regular spider but instead a jumping spider. I set out to make him a spider web on cardboard and use silver glitter for the web, and spelled Jumping Spider (Charlotte’s Web inspiration) in the web. My son loved the spider costume, but not the web. Of course that is what I’d worked on for more time than I’d like to admit. I had attempted to use elastic arm bands so my son could wear the web. My son thought they were really uncomfortable. I got him to wear the web for maybe a minute. Oh well. We’ve had more and less inspired over the years. Some were things the kids loved (Lightning McQueen) or interested in (Ninja, Star Wars), but this year my youngest had a more unique request.

He has had a love of geography that has grown over the last year. He has numerous books on maps, and atlases. When I asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween this year, he said, “a map!” I loved his inspiration but wondered, how am I going to help pull this one off? I found some costume ideas for ‘the world’ online, including globes, but my son was clear “I don’t want to be a globe of the world, I want to be a map.” I came up empty on Amazon. It was clear. There was not going to be a ‘store-to-the-rescue’ kind of costume. I was going to have to put on my creative thinking cap and figure out how we were going to pull off this costume. I ended up finding fabric that’s pattern was a map of the world (and a yard in length — perfect). Then I thought, can I find him a fun ‘worldly’ hat? Or something that looks ‘international’? I went to a costume store and found him a German hat (green with red feather), and a table decoration with flags from around the world. I thought, ‘we’ve got enough for a costume!‘ I didn’t know how it was going to come together, but knew we could figure it out. I got some material for backing for the map fabric, and with my sister’s help, we transformed the map material into a cape of sorts (more like a wrap, but it works). Donned with his hat and flags, we had a costume. I asked my son, “So, what are we going to say your costume is?” Before he could respond, I said, “Oh, I know you’ll be a Man of the World. That means you’re well-traveled and know a lot about the world.” My son quickly responded, “Mom, I’m not a man of the world, I’m a FAN of the world.” He was right, and I couldn’t help but smile.

There is no greater joy then seeing your child be inspired. To see them envision what they want to be — even if it’s just for Halloween.

What does your child want to be this Halloween? How are you helping them achieve their vision for who they want to be?