Category Archives: Fun

So, What’s the Catch?

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Have you ever thought about where common idioms come from: it’s raining cats and dogs, see the light, under the weather, etc.?

We were sitting at the dinner table this week when my oldest son ask, “What does ‘what’s the catch’ mean?” My younger son chimed in, “Yea, what does it mean? It doesn’t make any sense!” They both giggled thinking that the saying sounded silly. My husband and I both looked at each other with a “you got this?” expression and then took turns providing what we went on to describe what it meant as best we could. “It means something is too good to be true. Someone says something’s for free, but what they don’t tell you is you’ll have to sit through a presentation to get the free thing,” I shared. “It means you’re not getting the whole picture. There’s more to it than meets the eye. If something sounds like it’s too good a deal, say someone offering you money for nothing, you would probably ask, “What’s the catch?,” my husband replied.

Our boys came up with their own interpretations. “So, if someone offered me gold, I should know there’s probably something they want from me,” said my oldest. “Or if they offer me (play) cars, there might be something they want for it,” said my youngest. “You’re getting the idea,” I said.

My sons asked where the saying came from. “No idea,” my husband and I replied. Funny how we use phrases without putting too much thought into where they come from. It forced us to think about how language has changed over time, even during my lifetime. I shared that when I was young phrases like “LOL” or “hashtag” weren’t used, and people would have looked at me  with a curious expression if I said them as recently as a decade or so earlier. We talked about how hundreds of years ago people talked in ways that would be unrecognizable to us today (using words such as “thee” and “thou”). My sons thought that was hilarious.

After giggling for a few minutes, I attempted to get serious and asked, “So, if that’s the way the ball bounces, what’s the catch?” Now all of us were laughing again. “And if  I’m under the weather, I hope it’s not raining cats and dogs,” my son added with a smile. While I may not know the origin of many idioms, they quite useful when trying to explain something more simply, plus they can be good for a laugh…especially when we think how much our language has changed over time and all the silly things we still say quite seriously.

What idioms do you often use? Are there any that are your favorites? Or ones your child find amusing?

What, no TV?

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It’s summertime, and our kids have more free time on their hands. They are in camps during the week, but when they are not at camp all they want to do is watch TV.

When I was a kid, I wanted to watch TV 24×7 if my parents would allow it. I can remember one particular summer my mom told me that my sisters and I that our TV time would be limited to three hours a day. Three hours a day, that’s outrageous! There’s so much we’ll be missing! I thought. I can remember discussing this decision with my neighbor friend whose mom was trying something similar with he and his sister. “It’s not fair,” we both agreed. I can’t recall how closely the TV time was held to, but do recall we were prompted to play outside more, and it was okay to be bored.

With my own kids, my husband and I were noticing a trend…if allowed, our sons would watch TV 24×7. The TV seemed to be on any time we were inside the house. It was becoming a problem. While I hated the idea of restricting my kids TV time to three hours (because I could remember how much I hated it as a kid), I knew it was what we were ultimately going to have to do.

My husband and I sat down our kids and talked to them about limiting their TV time. Our conversation was met with “What?” “That’s not fair!” “You’re so mean!” “We’re going to be so bored!” This was expected, but still not easy to hear. “Guys, we’re not doing you any favors by letting you sit around and watch TV all the time, there is too much life to live, and you’re not living it if you sitting on a couch.” My sons may not have liked our message, but they understood it. “What are we going to do to pass the time?” my son asked. “You’ll have to figure that out. You can ride your bike, play out in the backyard, create something with your Lego, there’s all sorts of things you can do, it’s really up to you.”

We started our new schedule, and it was hard for everyone. It took some getting used to. It’s still taking some getting used to, but what I found was when my husband and I were firm with what would be allowed (e.g. if you watch three hours of TV first thing in the morning, that’s it.) we saw that our boys could adjust…it might be done begrudgingly, but they could do it.

I’ve seen them be more creative with their time since we implemented the change. There have been days when the three hours have been exceeded, but it’s been the exception. With summer vacation here, our timing feels right — there is so much to do, explore and see, it would be a shame if it were mostly spent inside.

Have you ever had to limit screen time? What worked for you? What helped your child make the adjustment?

Happy Fourth! I’ll be taking time off with the family and will be back following.

Oscar

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What’s in a name? A name is used to identify people, with distinctive traits that differentiate us from one another. Some names are more common than others, some more unique. Each name has an origin and meaning; it sometimes matches the person or object (car, trophy, stuffed animal, etc.), sometimes it doesn’t.

The Academy Awards got me thinking about those named Oscar.  Some more famous Oscars include:

  • Oscar Wilde – writer and poet
  • Oscar de la Renta – designer
  • Oscar de la Hoya – boxer

And those that use the name fictitiously or more playfully include:

  • Oscar the Grouch: a muppet who lives in a trash can, what’s not to love?
  • Oscar Mayer: bologna, hotdogs, what kid could want more?
  • Oscar: the character from the TV show The Office

And while they are all very different, they have the name, Oscar, in common.

My children have virtually no interest in watching the Academy Awards, but they are very interested in talking about different Oscars. It’s fun to think of such a wide range of accomplished individuals and interesting characters that have your same name. It got my kids and I thinking about our own names and others that share them. We were able to think of at least one notable person that shared each of our respective names. We found the knowledge of knowing someone famous shared our name made each of us happy. Maybe not winning-a-golden-statue-named-Oscar happy, but happy none-the-less.

What’s in a name? Happiness for now.

 

Jackpot!

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When was the last time you felt like you struck it rich? Whether it was winning money unexpectedly or having an outcome or experience better than expected?

I had one in an unexpected place…a local family fun center. We went to the family fun center to pass the time on a rainy day. My boys were off playing separate games. I was with my younger son and we joined his brother to an atmosphere of excitement. Lights were flashing and the machine was dispensing tickets at a fast rate. My older son exclaimed, “I hit the jackpot!” When he said this, I thought he won maybe 50 tickets or so. But then I looked at the game and saw he indeed hit The Jackpot — 1500 tickets. He was ecstatic, and I was stunned. How often does someone hit a jackpot, I thought.

We can so often think the jackpot is out of our reach in life. While we might not win the lottery or the jackpot at our local family fun center, I’d argue that we’ve all hit the jackpot many times without realizing it. I felt like I hit the jackpot when I met my husband, we bought our first house and when our kids were born. I feel like I’ve hit the jackpot anytime I see a beautiful landscape, hear a song that I love, I connect with others in my writing or speaking, run into a friend in an unexpected place, or get an “I love you” from one of my boys. When I think about it, I’ve hit the ‘jackpot’ many times. It isn’t a rare thing, as much as it is a special thing.

When do you feel like you’ve hit the jackpot?

Puppet Show

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What do you do to jumpstart your activity in the New Year?  No, I don’t mean what exercise regiment have you started, but how do you rebound from all the activity around the holidays and then those few days of calm between Christmas and New Years, where things seem to slow down, things become calmer, and you have some time to breathe?

It’s not uncommon for my ‘jumpstart’ to take place sometime several weeks into the year. I yearn to hold onto the slowness and peaceful state-of-mind I feel those days at the end of the year, and look ahead to the next time I’ll get to experience that feeling again. Thinking of future vacations helps.

My kids are much more eager to get back into the swing of things than I…seeing their friends at school and resuming activities seems to get their energy back up.

On a workday morning not long into the New Year, I was overwhelmed with everything that had to be accomplished in the day ahead. I was eager to get the kids going so I could start getting through my lists of “to-dos”. My youngest son didn’t want to get ready, and was adamant about not getting out of bed.  As I assessed the situation two choices came to mind: 1) I can get frustrated, and start to dole out consequences (potentially ruining my day, and my sons), or 2) do something different.  As I was assessing the situation and deciding what to do next, I happened to notice a puppet on the floor in my son’s room.  Hmmm…could a puppet help me do something different to prompt my son along? 

I picked up the puppet, a fluffy plush cat puppet and brought the cat to life. “Hmmm, I don’t want to get ready, I just want to sit in bed all day long and do nothing,” I said in a cat voice, “I’ll just sit here all day. I don’t care if I get dirty, I don’t care if I don’t learn anything. I’m going to do what I want.” My son was amused. Using the puppet brought a smile to my face. Engaging him in this way was helping me experience a creative energy I hadn’t felt since before the holidays. I continued, “Too bad I’ll only be known as plain old Fluffy, but at least I get to stay in my bed.” I had the cat pause for a moment and then had Fluffy take on a new and improved persona. “Hmmm, maybe I will get dressed after all. I’ll brush my teeth and make my bed. I’ll go to school and I’ll learn and I’ll do BIG things. I’m going to be Fluffy the Fabulous,” I added with gusto. Fluffy was going places, and my son was eager to follow.  I asked my son, “which Fluffy are you going to be today? Plain old Fluffy or Fluffy the Fabulous?” He considered my questions momentarily and replied, “Fluffy the Fabulous, of course.” We both giggled and he finally started to get himself ready.

Sometimes it just takes a moment to wipe away the dreary and get pep back in your step. Who knew a simple puppet could make that happen?

What is giving you energy in the New Year?

Zombie Mom

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Do the holidays bring out your inner child? They do for me.

After a week of traveling for work, the house being a mess and having two children who weren’t interested in getting ready, I knew I had to ‘come back to life’ to get us going and out of the house. My youngest was casually heading off to his room after I’d asked him to get ready. Instead of monitoring his progress every few minutes, I took a different tactic.I think seeing some Halloween decorations in the house inspired me. I made a groaning noise and stuck my arms straight out in front of me. I walked towards my boys room and said, “Mommy Zombie wants to eat boys that don’t have their beds made.” I headed towards them. They both squealed with delight. “No, Mom!” they exclaimed, and with smiles on their faces quickly got to making their beds. I then said, “Mommy Zombie wants to eat boys that aren’t dressed yet.” Their faces lit up again at the thought of Zombie Mom coming their way and they quickly worked to get dressed. Our game continued until they were completely ready. Zombie Mom prompted my sons to make their beds, get dressed, brush their hair and teeth and grab all the needed prior to heading out of the house. Why hadn’t I thought of this game before?  I was having fun, and the kids were too!

As we were leaving the house, my oldest son turned to me and said, “Mom, that was very creative of you. It was really fun!” His younger son agreed, “Yea, Mom, that was fun!” I held onto those moments, of  the sound of their giggles and pictures of their smiling faces, long after they were gone.

There aren’t many moments, in my experience, as a parent, when you actually think you got something right. I think I got this particular morning right and hope to recreate it again, using the child that still exist inside me. With the holidays coming up, I should be pretty inspired.

When does your inner child emerge? What creative ways have you inspired your child to action?

 

Family Fun?

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It is important to my husband and I that we teach our children how to manage their money. They are recently taken on more chores and are given a modest weekly allowance, which we encourage them to save, share or spend. So far, their desire to save has been modest, share has been virtually non-existent and spend has been high. My husband and I are big on saving and sharing, so it’s a bit frustrating that our kids don’t share our same financial mindset presently. I had to reflect on my own childhood. I too had chores and earned a modest weekly allowance. I was encouraged to save or share, nor was I encouraged to spend. I remember really not wanting to part with my money (e.g. give it away), and honestly can’t remember ever spending my money until I was in high school and things like clothes became more important to me (and required money I earned to get).

My boys have recently found a new place they love to go. It is geared towards families and offers putt-putt golf, cars you can race, rides you can go on, and games you can play. We enjoy talking the kids here to play putt-putt and spend some quality time together. What my kids currently like best is playing the games.

I can understand the draw, you play a game you win tickets which you can trade in for prizes. The downside, it costs money to get tokens to play the games, the games don’t normally produce a high volume of tickets, and the prizes, well, aren’t so great (or the great ones require a tremendous amount of tickets). You quickly realize that it is easy to pay $20 for tokens and only earn enough tickets to get $5-10 worth of merchandise in return. “Isn’t this gambling?” my husband asked. Boy, he makes a good point, I thought. Playing these games is equivalent to taking a chance with your money — you will almost never win out (e.g. hit enough jackpot payouts to earn enough tickets to get those big prizes).  We decided that instead of offering to just buy the tokens, our kids needed to chip in as well (hoping this would deter them). It hasn’t worked yet. They are willing to give up their hard earned money to play these games. Ugh!

My husband has been recently doing some construction projects in our backyard. He asked our boys to help him with his projects. They asked if they could earn extra money from helping out. We said, “No.” We expect our boys to help out around the house because we’re a family and we all have a part in keeping our house up and in order. Instead, my husband offered to participate in a water gun fight with them, after they finished helping him. They quickly agreed.

I know our sons will want to go to places that have games they can play (with prizes to win), and we’ll go occasionally, and continue to work on teaching financial responsibility to our boys. We’ll also be looking to load the calendar with opportunities for more water gun fights.

How are you teaching your child fiscal responsibility? How do you have fun as a family?

Soaking Wet

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When was the last time you got into a water gun (or water balloon) fight? For me, it had been several decades, that was, until this week.

Each year, my husband and I encourage our boys to complete a math software-based program that includes upward of 200 assignments. The work that is not assigned by the school, but encouraged as an aid to help the student practice and hone their math skills. We think it benefits our children, so we have them work on it throughout the year. When they are done, we celebrate by letting them get something they want (within reason) to celebrate their accomplishment. This year, my oldest wanted a water gun.

When I was growing up, a water gun was small and made of see-through plastic. The water gun my son selected was large and had multiple water spray mechanisms. Water guns have come a long way since I was a kid.

Once my son had the water gun in his hands at home, he couldn’t wait to fill it with water and take it out the backyard to see what it could do. The minute my husband got home, my son determined a water gun fight needed to ensue. My husband had a different idea, he suggested the boys help him with some projects outside, and when they were done, they could have a water gun fight. The boys eagerly agreed.

It couldn’t help but smile watching my boys help their father out in the backyard, and it brought me great joy to see the water gun fight that commenced following. My oldest was relentless in getting his father soaking wet, and my husband wasn’t about to let his son get him wet without returning the favor. My youngest occasionally got into the battle, but was happy just to observe, like me. When the fight was over, everyone came back into the house. There was panting, and laughing about what had just happened. They were soaking wet, and I loved it.

I’m guessing we’ll have several more water gun fights in upcoming years, and think about how long it will be before my boys re-engage in a water gun fight once they are grown. I hope it isn’t as long as it was for me. I clearly missed out on having fun with water.

As an adult, what games have you reconnected with from your childhood? What activities do you do as a family that bring you the most joy?

 

We (Wii) Dance

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Do you have a Wii or know someone who does?  If so, have you ever done Wii Dance?

My boys were introduced to Wii Dance during after school activities. When I picked them up one day I saw my youngest son participating and my oldest eagerly awaiting his turn. They both worked diligently to match the the dance moves showing on the screen, whether they were “officially” playing the game or not. There was great concentration, but also a wonderful joy. I couldn’t help getting caught up in their enthusiasm.

As I’ve aged, I’ve been bracing myself for the day I’ll become uncool to my kids. Watching them do Wii Dance I realized that moment was approaching faster than I’d like. The moves on the screen seemed more modern than what I remember growing up, and the fact that I just used the word “modern” to describe dance moves makes me feel even more old. I was tempted to join in with my boys and give Wii Dance a try, but resisted the urge, because I’m determined not to embarrass my children in public, at least not intentionally.

Once the Wii Dance party ended, we headed for home and found ourselves later that evening watching a movie. The movie had a soundtrack with several dance-able songs. I took that opportunity to get my groove on (and yes, the fact that I just used that phrase seems to be cementing that I just can’t help but embrace I am of a certain age). Instead of dancing by myself, I invited the kids to join me. They thought it was a blast. We laughed, we spun, we dipped and really enjoyed ourselves. We decided that we have a lot of fun when ‘we dance’.

I might not ever get to do Wii Dance in public, but I’ll take a private dance party with my guys any day.

How do you show your fun side to your child?

 

A Little Competition

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I was recently having coffee with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while and we were getting caught up on what was going on with our kids. Our local team is in the NFL Playoffs and the city has football fever. It prompted us to discuss our boys and athletics. She shared her son was in soccer and was amazed how quickly kids embrace being competitive. She commented that she and her husband had gotten caught up in cheering him on and wanting him to do well. Her comments resonated with me, as I’m sure they would with most parents.

When I speak to parenting groups I often talk about competition as part of the discussion. Remember when your child was born and you had them around other children their age?  if you are like most of us, you probably compared notes on where your child is with their developmental milestones. There was probably a conversation that mentioned something to the effect of: my child is ________ (fill in the blank: sleeping through the night, pulling themselves up, walking, eating solid food, never (or rarely) fusses, etc.). While the conversation isn’t about a sport, it is about how quickly or gracefully your child is progressing, and can start to feel as though your ability to parent is dependent on how quickly your child reaches a milestone. It can create great anxiety for a parent, particularly a new one. Just learning to care for the daily needs of your child, and taking care of yourself can be overwhelming, you don’t come into parenting thinking “I can’t wait to start competing with other parents!” None of us do.

As I talk to parenting groups I mention competition so the participants are aware that this feeling is normal and starts much earlier than many think. It also provides a great opportunity for each of us, as parents, to really understand how we view competition and what we want to teach our children about competition.  Do you thrive to compete and win individually? Do you prefer to collaborate and win as a team? Will you do anything not to compete? How much of your identity is associated with performance? What role does competition play into your “success” (as a person, or parent)?

Both of our sons play soccer in a non-competitive soccer league. We chose this league for a few reasons: the league had a good reputation and large membership (our thinking was: they must be on to something), and my husband and I needed to get clarity for ourselves on the role competition played in our own identities and how much we wanted it to play into our children’s.  I swam on a swim team as a child and learned that if I worked hard, I could win. I also learned that if I worked hard, the results would be better than if I didn’t. The second lesson was a much more valuable lesson for me as an adult. My husband ran on a cross country team. He learned that if he worked hard, his endurance to run long distances surpassed his expectations, sometimes resulting in him winning the competition. He also learned that sticking to something pays off in the long run, a valued lesson he’s leveraged as an adult.

Our boys view soccer in completely different ways. Our oldest wants to score goals and win games. My husband and I have always reiterated to our boys that they are in soccer to learn how to play and have fun, we don’t care if they score many goals or none at all. Our oldest has heard us say this numerous times, but continues to want to win. It’s more than that though, he wants to demonstrate that his hard work translates into successful results. We can certainly understand this desire, but continue to work with him on the dangers of this thinking. Having successful results is not always possible, no matter how well you prepare. It can be a slipper slope to feeling negatively about yourself and your capabilities when you aren’t able to achieve or maintain the results you desire or expect. Our youngest son could care less about being competitive. In fact, we’ve considered taking him out of soccer a few times, because he seems more interested in laughing and having fun than in learning to play. He continues to play because it keeps him active and he is having fun (that was one of the reason we said they were in soccer class after all).

As a parent it is easy to engage in the competition of parenting, the key is noticing it’s going on, and being clear on the role it plays in your life today and the role you want it to play in your child’s.

How does parenting feel like a competition? Do you feel like you’re competing with other parents, or is your child competing with other children, or both? What role do you want competition to play in your child’s life? What lesson(s) do you hope they will take or learn from it?