Category Archives: Busy

Happy Days

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What do you enjoy doing in your free time?

I like to read, but rarely do these days. For Mother’s Day I was given the day to do what I liked. My oldest gave me a book he had read and we had discussed over Spring Break. The book, Three Days of Happiness by Sugaru Miaki , is based on a young male who is given the opportunity to sell his remaining life span for money. It sounds a bit depressing, but the book makes you think about how we see life, how we approach life (compare ourselves to others, deciding life will be good or bad, worrying about what others think of you and your actions), and being truly free.

In the book, the main character pays the ultimate price in time, but understands by the end that happiness can be experienced by living completely free.

My oldest and I discussed the book after I finished reading it. It brought up topics such as how you approach life (with joy or anger or something else); living life and putting yourself out there — truly bring you; taking risks; and finding happiness as often as you can.

I was reminded of what a Lego Ninjago character (a show my boys watched regularly when they were younger), Sensei Wu said. “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, and that is why they call it ‘the present.’” I loved how simple and meaningful that statement is. I shared it with my son (he had to remind me of the character’s name) as we talked about the book, and how easy it is to get caught up thinking about the past, focusing on the future, and not paying attention to the moment you are in. My advice to him, “make an effort to take it all in. The simple things — good weather, birds and nature; and the important things – health, food, safety, shelter; and the things that enrich us -family, friends and community.”

Time is our most precious asset and too often we let it slip by. How do we change that? Awareness? Intention? Or something else!

What makes you and your child happy?

I will be off next weekend for Memorial Day and back in June.

The Parent Trap

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Who has been sucked into volunteering in support of your child’s school, sports, or activity?

I use the words ‘sucked in’ because most volunteer work I have been done has been based guilt (the other parents can’t always go everything, I’m being selfish if I don’t give freely of my time, etc.), vs. being passionate about the cause — the one exception was my youngest’s middle school that was a start-up and beyond unbelievable (like winning the golden ticket for my son’s education). I think of this as the parent trap. Any one else gotten sucked in?

I have had to re-establish boundaries periodically. Saying “no” when asked and allowing myself to sit with the guilt. It always feels good to volunteer and support others, but the time commitment (planning, night/weekend events, etc.), and stress of the planning and execution of the events are the detractors for me. Does the feeling afterwards of helping offset the stress leading up to? Most time the answer is “maybe,” yet I (you/we?) volunteer. I most recently made the mistake of showing up early to a showcase my son was participating in. A mom came over, introduced herself, shared how she led volunteer coordination (I knew the ask was coming, and braced myself for it). She then sat down (okay, I thought, she’s not going anywhere until I agree to something, I’m going to have to negotiate). I didn’t want to outright own a responsibility. I was okay co-chairing, but would prefer the work be split by three. We discussed and I reluctantly (darn you guilt) agreed.

I remind myself my youngest has three more years in high school, so volunteering in this capacity has a time limit. I may even miss it when these opportunities no longer present themselves (though I’m sure they’ll be replaced by others). If I’m being honest with myself, nah, I won’t miss it, I’ll be relieved. Am I the most selfish person ever? Ah, the guilt. It can feel like a never ending trap.

How do you view volunteering? How do you offset any guilt you feel?

Holiday Rush

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The holidays are a joyous, but busy season, right?

Trying to get shopping done, decorations up, wrapping gifts, traveling to see friends, family, Christmas lights, etc. Throw in work or school activities and commitments, and it can get to be a bit overwhelming at times, at least in our house.

During a particularly busy week at work, my husband, who was traveling on a last minute trip, shared we had tickets to a comedy show that had been rescheduled multiple times due to the pandemic. The show would happen while he was still away. They had been a gift for me, so he really wanted me to go. Normally I’d be excited, but this came up suddenly. I was already stressed with work and everything else going on, and didn’t feel up for going. My husband pushed. “You could use a laugh, take a friend or one of the kids.” He was right, but it still left like ‘one more thing’ I needed to get done. I inquired with a small handful of friends and none were available. I asked my boys and my oldest agreed to go. He was excited, I think by the prospect of doing something more adult, not necessarily hanging out with his mom. 😊

It was a flurry of activity leading up to us getting to the show. My mind was going a mile a minute with things still left to be done over the week and upcoming weekend. I caught sight of my son next to be and my inner voice said pretty loudly ‘be in the moment — the work, activities, commitments, etc., will all still be there — your son is with you now, this is special, pay attention.’ The voice helped me let go of much of the stress I’d been carrying around. I looked at my son again and focused on being present. What a gift! Simply focusing, and I mean focusing with intention, let all my worries slip away for the rest of the evening.

The holidays are hectic and stressful. Given this, what are your favorite things to do during the season with your child, and how do you stay present during these special moments?

Happy Holidays! I’ll be off for the next few weeks with friends and family and will be back in January.