Tag Archives: Go

Off They Go

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When my boys were young we came across the book Off We Go to Mexico by Laurie Krebs, a fun book taking the reader through some of the wonders of Mexico. It starts with, “Off we go, off we go, off we go to Mexico.” The kids loved the repetitiveness of ‘off we go,’ and we applied it freely for any adventure we were going to have — ‘off we go, off we go, off we go to…the park, on a walk, or the zoo’ — you get the drift. Everyone loved the silliness of it, and it did make our journey feel more like a try adventure when the sing-song intro of ‘off we go’ got us started.

We took a trip in eastern Canada via rail. Our youngest planned logistics for our trip, with cities we’d visit, days we’d stay, and ideas for things to do including visiting family, seeing some sites, and building in ‘free time’ for everyone to be able to do what they wanted including relaxing or doing something on your own.

Our youngest really wanted to explore the metro system of one of the cities we visited by himself. He’d previously had done this without issue so we allowed him to go off and do it again with parameters — keeping us posted, updating us on his whereabouts, and when he’d be back. He went off on his adventure but shared he was coming back to the hotel earlier than we expected. “Everything okay?,” I asked. “Yes,” he replied. “Did something happen?” I asked. “No,” he shared, “I just got anxious and scared and bored.” His awareness of his own feelings always blows me away. “Okay,” I said, “you sure you’re okay? You can come meet us?” He declined and said he’d see us back at the hotel.

We talked at dinner about his day. He shared where he’d gone, and the routes he hadn’t. “Are you disappointed you didn’t go everywhere you wanted?” and he said, “I can do it when I come back.” We have no plans as a family to go there again, but my son does. I loved he can visualize himself getting back there.

I’m so proud of my son and his desire to break out on his own, and find his own adventures. I’m so grateful I’ve been able to not let my fears of letting him g(r)ow hold him back (not always easy). The words keep running through my mind every time he decides a new adventure (local or away) he plans to take. Off he goes, off he goes, off he goes to…

What adventures are you and your kid(s) having? Any books that your kid(s) haven’t grown out of?

Letting them Go

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Have you ever struggled to let your child do something on their own?

My youngest son had his first overnight trip without family. His fourth grade class took an overnight trip to a school in the woods (a nature school). His older brother went when he was in the fourth grade and loved it so much he didn’t want to come back. We were excited for our younger son, but knew he was a little apprehensive, which in turn made me a little apprehensive. My fears: will he have fun? Is he going to be and feel included? Is he going to be okay? My son’s fears (though not confirmed by him) are likely more around no screen time (no TV, no YouTube, no Internet — oh my!).

The morning of his trip he teared up at the breakfast table. “I’m going to miss you so much,” he said. “I know, and we’ll miss you too,” I responded, “but this is good practice for growing up.” He gave me an eye-roll suggesting my response wasn’t what he hoped for (think he was looking for a “we don’t want you to go either…please stay!”). I hugged him and tried to reassure him. “You’re going with people who care about you. Most kids say this trip is the highlight of their elementary school, and now you get to go on it! Most kids (including your brother) would do anything to go back to this camp.” That seemed to help. He wiped his eyes and got ready to go.

It’s hard to let your kids grow up, do things on their own, and help them to be independent. It’s easy to think that if they are independent they don’t need you. But I want my boys to be independent, and to have confidence they have the skills to navigate this life. I want my boys, as they grow into adults, to want to talk and engage with my husband and I because they choose to, not because they have to. It’s still hard to experience the transition as they go from childhood into early adulthood. It’s hard letting them g(r)o(w).

How are you helping your child be independent?

I will be away for the next few weeks and back in July.