Tag Archives: Daughter

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

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Having our exchange student has been the closest thing I’ll have to having a daughter.

She is energetic, loves karaoke, cooking, music, watching and doing TikToks, and having fun. She often asks me to join in her fun, which usually ends up with us laughing. I’m not sure I was that eager to ask my mom to engage with me in fun things when I was her age (sorry, Mom!). The prom is coming up in a few weeks and she asked if I’d take her to try on dresses — an experience I never thought I’d have, having two sons. On the drive to the mall she put on the song, Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper. We sang and were acting silly. At the mall I got to watch her try on outfits with many others (clearly lots of teens are out looking at dresses this time of year). We grabbed dinner at the food court, and I listened as she described her dream dress. We didn’t find it, but I’m hopeful we will.

Maybe on another outing, which would be fun, and well, that’s all we really want, right? 😊

How do you have fun with your child?

Please, Oscar, #AskHerMore

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What is your favorite part of watching the Oscars? The red carpet? The emcee’s monologue? The winner’s speeches? Or something else?

I have always been drawn to the ‘fashion’ side of the Oscars and seeing who won more than anything else. I never really appreciated how much the fashion part of the telecast limited what women had to offer until several actresses bravely shined a light on it and started the campaign–ask her more (#AskHerMore). Up until the campaign, the questions were always around whose dress, shoes, and jewelry the woman was wearing, and in rare moments, who did her hair. In retrospect, it’s so superficial. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before. The ask her more movement is pushing for the media to inquire about the woman herself, her performance, what motivated her, her feelings and what’s important to her about her craft. That’s a very different conversation.

In a world, where outside beauty seems to trump inward beauty in the media, if we don’t rally against it, it will continue to be the case. Before having children, I confided in a friend that I was scared to have a girl, because I didn’t want them to have to deal with all the stuff that comes with it–self-image, self-confidence, worrying constantly about how you look, constantly feeling judged and never being good enough, and all the negative fall out that can result from that. I know this happens for boys as well, but think it has been more subtle for males and front-and-center for women still. Of course, if I had had a girl, I would have been thrilled. It would have forced me to think about how I would help her combat all the negativity so many women have to work through. I do have a niece who is strong and confident. She blows me away with her knowledge and attitude.  She shared with me recently that she liked a particular book because it had a strong female character in the lead role. I was so proud.

For those of you with daughters, sisters, aunts, female cousins, and mothers, what do you wish people knew about them? What questions do you wish they would ask to learn more about her–not what she wears, or how she looks, but what makes her uniquely her?