Tag Archives: Community

Getting into the Holiday Spirit

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I can’t lie the election took a lot out of me, it was the same for my youngest too. He was really into the election, even going to school like a walking billboard advertising how the electorate works and the timing. I was a little afraid others might be annoyed or stressed by this, but his classmates seemed to get caught up in his enthusiasm and his teachers beyond thrilled a student would make this type of effort on their own.

The election was over more quickly than anticipated, the majority vote also won (fair and square) and I felt exhausted and well, numb. My son was so caught up in it, he got physically ill late into election night. None of us slept well. It was hard to muster joy the next few days. We were hoping for less stress, which requires less drama and scare tactics, and more unity and discussion around us coming together as a country. I don’t have a lot of confidence this will come from our incoming leadership so it will be left up to us, the citizens, to make this happen. The reality is we are more alike than we are different, and want the same things. We need to help each other to feel safe — housing, food, fiscal security, control over your own body, and bring more resources to address mental health struggles. We need to drop the stereotypes, because if we’re being honest, it’s a lazy way to identify a group different than you, and differences in our country is what really makes us great — different perspectives, backgrounds, and cultures.

My life has taken me from living in the suburbs, to a small rural town, and then to a larger city. Each environment I saw the good in everyone around me, regardless their income, background, culture or beliefs. I was thankful when a perception was changed or a stereotype flipped upside down — it quickly taught me that getting to know individuals is most valuable and to remember whatever stereotype I’ve been exposed to is just plain wrong. My husband and I have attempted to instill this in our kids — keep an open mind, get to know someone before you pass judgement, and look for the good.

There is a lot of good out there. There is so much to be thankful for, even when things don’t always feel good. You just have to be on the lookout. The holidays are just around the corner and having something to look forward to is comforting (and a good distraction). Getting into the holiday spirit varies for everyone. I’m going to lean in and look for the good all around.

How are you finding your holiday spirit? What good have you found in unforeseen places?

I’ll be off next week celebrating the holiday with friends and family and back in December. Happy Thanksgiving.

Weathering the Storm

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Watching the destructive weather that has hit the southeast these past few weeks has been hard to take it. On one hand, you’re grateful you’re not in the path of the destruction, but scared, sad, and empathetic to those experiencing it, particularly when many of the people are family and friends (or remind you of your family and friends).

There wasn’t much we could do as Milton barreled towards Tampa. We had family recouping from major surgery (that couldn’t evacuate) in the area, and many loved ones scattered north, south, and east. No one seemed to be truly safe. Throw in the tornadoes that occurred relatively ‘far’ away from the center of the storm, high winds, and storm surge, and taking it all in from afar felt almost unbearable.

There were calls, and texts, before and after the storm. Grateful when you learned someone was safe, nerves when you haven’t. After I had reached out to immediate family, my youngest asked who else I’d checked on. “Mom, we have to make sure everyone is okay.” I appreciated his genuine concern, and him reminding me to continue reaching out, even though electricity, connectivity, and accessibility (coming to and from where you have access to these things), are not available for many and likely won’t be for some time. Waiting to hear is hard.

I think about those that have lost their home, or possessions, or a loved one. I think about schools being closed, how these traumatic events affect adults and children — it changes you. Seeing everyone pitching in regardless their socioeconomic status, or political leaning, or religious affiliation, come together to help on another, makes me hopeful for how we weather these storms. Community — us coming together—is your family during these times.

What storms (literal or figurative) have you and your family weathered?

Parental Support

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Who has helped you through your parenting journey?

We are fortunate to live in a part of the country that has a structured program called Program for Early Parenthood Support (PEPS). It brings together parents with newborns that are close in age (1-3 months, typically). We were able to join a group when our oldest was born.

The support we received from the official PEPS program (which, at the time, ran 12 weeks), with a moderator, topics, sometimes guest/expert speakers, and families (including babies) meeting once a week in each other’s home was invaluable. Following the program most of the parents in our group wanted to keep meeting. Just getting together, knowing we weren’t alone, having others to bounce questions, challenges, and fears set the foundation for a strong community.

Our oldests are seniors in high school now with graduation just around the corner. It’s bittersweet to realize how much time has gone by. The slowness of the early years, the angst of sending them off to school, puberty hitting, teen angst, and now coming into their own.

When we first started meeting, post program, everyone attended. We talked about the kids, because — for the most part — they were too young to know what we were talking about or in another room playing games. As they got older some of the kids connected, others didn’t. The kids would come, but you knew they’d probably rather be somewhere else. 😊 When the kids reached middle school we started to let them decide if they wanted to join us or not. The connection of this group was more meaningful to us parents, because we wanted (needed?) to talk about the kids and struggles we faced, joys we were experiencing, or things that surprised us (my kid is capable of that?!).

None of us know what our kids will eventually end up doing, where they’ll live, etc.. We know just because they are now “adults” we won’t have a say, but hopefully modeled getting support to thrive in tough environments (not sure many environments tougher than parenting). We still very much want to stay connected with this community. We’ve been through so much together.

Parental support is what gets you through the tough times and lets you know you’re not only, and you’ll figure it out. It’s those people — family, friends, doctors, teachers, coaches, mentors, that help us get through the journey together.

Who supports you and your family? Who do you support in return?

Tree Lot

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Where do you get your Christmas tree?

Our family gets our tree from our elementary school’s tree lot. We didn’t even know they had a tree lot until our kids went there. Prior years we would get a tree wherever it was easy without much thought. Going to this elementary school changed that as parents were asked by the PTA to help run the tree lot (help customers with the trees, get them to their cars, run the checkout stand) and we felt obliged to help. It was one of the few ways we thought we could actually give back to the school. When the kids were young it seemed a bit overwhelming to run the stand, as we’d need to get sitters for them or be prepared to chase them around the lot the entire evening, but as the kids grew and could truly help out at the stand it became a family tradition we look forward to.

My youngest is in 5th grade and will be moving on to middle school next year. We thought this would be our last tree lot until we learned that my older son’s scout troop also does tree lot. And because there are only a dozen or so kids in the troop, each family has to work multiple shifts. Seems like working tree lot will be in our future for many years to come!

My boys will always gripe about working the tree lot, even though we remind them working the lot means we’re helping raise money for their school and/or money for their troop. But I get it, I can’t imagine I would have been super excited to work a tree lot for hours on end when I was their age. It can be cold, wet, and sometimes miserable (weather wise), but seeing the families come in to buy their tree, young faces wide with excitement about the holiday, and people telling us they specifically came to the lot to support us (be it the school or the scouts), makes it all worthwhile. It makes us feel more connected to our neighbors, our community, and you can’t put a price on something so needed and special.

Working the tree lot has become a family tradition. I’ve a greater appreciation for where we get our tree from, and those that make the time to get their tree from us.

Where do you get your Christmas tree from?

12th Man – Junior Edition

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Last week’s Super Bowl was devastating for Seattle Seahawks fans. To watch your team almost win the game and instead throw an interception, with no time left on the clock, was hard to accept. The 12th Man had to go through stages of grief: denial (no! no! no! That did not just happen!), anger (why didn’t they rush? why???), and finally acceptance (it is what it is…there is nothing we can do about it, so we need to figure out how to move on). Easier said than done, right?

We watched the game with my oldest son and were in disbelief as the fate of the Seahawks changed. He was upset (we all were). He outwardly showed it, and my husband and I inwardly reflected on how best to address the situation — had I been alone, my reaction may have more closely followed my son’s. When we had time to collect our thoughts, we worked to console our son–while we may have thought we were trying to console him, we were really trying to help him (and us) make sense of what just occurred. “Sometimes these things don’t happen like you hope they will. We have to remember both teams wanted to win as badly as the other. I’m sure there was a good reason they called that play.” While our words were rational, it was hard to find comfort in them. We all were hurting.

I’m guessing, like most 12s around the country, many of us didn’t sleep well on Sunday night. Getting up on Monday, only to be reminded of what happened the night before, was hard. I was concerned about how my son would do at school. I figured most of the students would struggle with what happened in the game, and I was right, but not for long.

As I mentioned in my previous post, the 12th Man is a strong community. One of my son’s teachers (part of the 12s) had the kids talk about the game and how they felt about it at the beginning of the school day. The class joined the rest of the school in a weekly assembly later that morning and talked about the game. My son shared what he learned during this gathering. “Mom, it’s really simple. They tried a play and it didn’t work. That happens sometimes,” he said. “It’s only a game. It’s not anything worth getting upset about. It’s not like it really matters.” Wow, sage advice, I thought. Teaching your child about life, is a big part of the parenting experience. My son was reminding me that while I like to think I’m his teacher, I’m also the student too. My son was teaching me now.

My son’s acceptance of what happened, helped me accept it too. Seeing Russell Wilson, Seattle’s QB, and Pete Carroll, Seattle’s Head Coach, talk about the play, why they did it, and how they were dealing with it helped too. It was another example of the 12s helping each other get through something.

Seattle should have won the football game, but may have won a bigger game in the long run–how to get through life, during good times and bad, together.

How have you handled unexpected disappointment? What support helped you get through it?

12th Man

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Today is Super Bowl Sunday. The New England Patriots will take on the Seattle Seahawks. While there has been a lot in the news about deflated footballs, Marshawn Lynch not being eager to talk to the press, Super Bowl ad teasers and the weather in the host city, the news I most look forward to is on Seattle’s 12th Man: where they are and what they’re up to. They are easy to spot–they have their Seahawk gear on, signs in their windows, decals on their cars or face paint on.

While the 12th Man consists of Seahawk fans, it represents so much more–community, support for a common cause, a connection with others you may not have anything else in common with. It’s incredible to see a team bring people together that cover all classes, backgrounds and neighborhoods. And while they may be easy to spot during the football season, they are just as easy to spot in the off months. The 12th Man is strong–we win and lose together. And it’s not just a Seattle-thing, it permeates throughout the country wherever Seahawks fans reside the 12th Man spirit lives.

I’m grateful my kids get to be part of the 12th Man experience: celebrate together, cry together, and do good together. It’s wonderful, as a parent, when you don’t have to try to explain how we should get along, but can show it in practice with the 12s.

I don’t know who will win the Super Bowl, but do know who the winners are–the 12th Man. Go Seahawks!