Tag Archives: Beauty

Panic Before the Prom

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Having a girl (our exchange student) has been eye-opening for us (me, in particular). I’d like to think that looks aren’t that important to this younger generation of females, but with social media apps, and trying to keep up (compete?) with your peers, looks — down to the microscopic element — are top of mind…constantly. Honestly, as a woman, it makes me both sad and angry. I was hoping we were evolving as a people more than what we appear (pun intended) to be.

As the host mom, I want to support our student and help her work through any angst she is feeling, but I struggle with some things that to her are super important, but to me aren’t. She is gorgeous by the way, without a stitch of makeup and should be someone who isn’t impacted by the beauty machine, but she is fully sucked in. I’m curious if it is worse for her since coming to America. I’ll have to ask.

Prom is coming up. Nail, hair, accessories, dress, shoes, makeup, outfits (for the weekend), and more. One item getting her worked up is her dress. It’s beautiful but a bit long. We got it too close to the dance to get it hemmed by a seamstress and let’s say, well, I’m inspired by people who can sew, but I have no desire to do it beyond simple mending and do not own a sewing machine. She is set on getting the length taken in 36 hours before the dance. 😳 We tracked down some hemming tape, but she is scared how it will affect the dress. “It won’t look good in the pictures,” she said. I suggested we try a small area, see how it looks and then go from there. She continued to ask me for other ideas. The only other thing I’ve come up with is taking the extra material in the back and pinning it up to the side (sweeping). It might look a little unnatural, but it would allow her to walk and take photos with the dress looking fine.

I’ve tried to tell her that things like your nails, the bottom of your dress, and if your eyelashes are curled or not, will not be noticed by anyone, and if they are, it will be for a nanosecond and they’ll be on thinking about the next thing and no longer thinking of you. I know she hears me, but not sure she believes me. I’m not sure I would have believed myself at her age. By the way, at my prom, I got my nails down special to match my dress. When getting photos, I was instructed to put my hand on my dates lapel, which I did, and I folded my fingers under it. Ha! You couldn’t even see my nail job. Why did I go thru all the trouble?

She’s in a panic, but my guess is it’s more nerves going with a boy she barely knows, experiencing something very American (the prom), and wanting it to be something magical (like you see in the movies), versus how long or short her dress is. We will get through this. I’ll let you know if the hemming tape works.

When has your teen panicked about something? How did you work through their angst?

I’ll be taking next weekend off for the long weekend and back in June.

Spring in Your Step

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Are you glad Spring is here?

We often walk our neighborhood on nice days and seeing crocuses starting to bloom was our first sign Spring was coming. Next daffodils started blooming and now tulips are starting to come in.

I was driving my son to school and we noticed daffodils lining both sides of the road as we neared the drop off area. The impact it had was more than either he or I expected. It was similar to seeing lights or a red carpet leading the way. The beauty was striking. My son commented with a tone of awe “Wow, look at that.”

Something about Spring boosts our spirits and puts some pep in our step. It’s a welcome change from the cold, but also feels like it’s the path towards more togetherness and returning to things we’ve done without since the pandemic started.

Are you and your family feeling the same way? Is there more Spring in your step?

I will be taking next week off to enjoy Easter with family and will return in April.

Fireside Chat

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Where do you have your best conversations with your child?

On a camping trip my husband and my older son decided they wanted to hike a trail not far from our camping site. We had just finished a different hike and my younger son and I were happy to sit by the fire and relax. After sitting by the fire for a few minutes, I could see my son was thinking about something. “What are you thinking about?” I asked. I thought he might reply, “nothing” or that he was reflecting on the day. Instead he said, “I’m thinking about life.” He paused, “And what the point of it is.”

Our earlier hike had taken us to a military cemetery where service and family members were buried. There was a large section of infants and young children in the cemetery and I had wondered, as we’d looked at some of the headstones, how the kids might be impacted by seeing so many lives lost so young. The experience reminded my son of two of his peers who have passed. A classmate from pre-school who died of cancer, and an elementary classmate who died from drowning. As a parent, both of these children’s deaths had shaken me to my core and reminded me how fragile life is. In both cases, I grieved desperately for the parents and what they must be going through, and was so grateful my boys were healthy and alive. I never knew if my son really grasped the finality of either death and the feelings that go along with it.

My son continued, “I think of my friends. They didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t understand why what happened to them had to happen to them.” He was tearing up. “They didn’t do anything wrong,” I said. “It’s one of the hardest things to understand in life — why bad things happen. Especially when it’s to good people or small children who haven’t had a chance to even truly experience life.” I paused. “You’ll never be able to make sense when these things happen. Life’s just that way. Sometimes bad things happen. I think their deaths are reminders of the gift we’ve been given — life. It’s a reminder to not take it for granted. To recognize the beauty around us, and to help others see it too.” I’d gotten his attention. “I miss them,” he said. “I know,” I said, “You’ll never forget them. They’ll always be with you. The hardest part is knowing they’re not here and that you won’t have new memories with them. But you can live for them and the lives they didn’t get to live. You just have to see what’s around you and appreciate it for however long you have on this Earth.” I knew what I was saying was a bit heavy, but he seemed to take it in and embrace it. Being in a nature setting while having this discussion really helped. I finished my thought with my son, “You know you show beauty often to others in how you treat them. You’re gift is kindness and happiness. You accept people as they are, where they are. That’s a gift. I hope you always remember that. Lots of people need people like you in their life. You might be the beauty in life they need to see.” He smiled. I used to smile too, when my father gave me insights about myself. There was something magical about being able to carry on the tradition with my son. “Life is hard sometimes. Life can be confusing and sometimes make you sad or angry, but the happiness will return. Just keep remembering to appreciate it, and treat it for what it is — a gift.”

My husband and older son walked into the campsite around this time. My younger son and I just sat there. “What have you been up to?” my husband asked. My younger son piped in, “We’ve been having a very important conversation. VERY IMPORTANT!” He gave me a knowing look. My husband caught my eye and I could almost read his mind — what exactly did you all talk about while we were away? In a way, I wish my husband had been there for the conversation, and my older son — it would have been a good conversation for us to have as a family — but if they had been there, maybe the conversation wouldn’t have happened, and I’m glad that it did.

Where do have your most meaningful conversations with your child?

 

Let It Snow!

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Do you like snow?

As a kid, I loved it. As an adult, I dread it. My favorite snow is the kind that sticks to the ground, but not to the street. In other words, snow that doesn’t slow me down.

With this being one of the busiest times of the year, snow seems like a really big inconvenience, but for my kids, it’s something different. It means no school. It means they get to go outside and have a snowball fight. Snow, to them, means fun.

After dreading a pending storm, I had to come to grips with the reality, once again, that I don’t control the weather. The snow is going to come when its going to come. And as much as I’d like for the snow to miss us, my kids are hoping just as hard that it doesn’t.

The snow came, the kids played and I couldn’t help but get caught up in their excitement over it. The snow forced me to pause, take a breath, and appreciate what was going on around me. Snow may be inconvenient, but it brings something else with it — beauty, joy and fun.

How do you make the most of things (like the weather) that inconvenience you during this busy time of year?

 

In Full Bloom

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What’s your favorite part about Spring?

Where I live, Spring has arrived. Trees, crocuses, daffodils and many other plants are in bloom. The beauty is so abundant it often takes my breath away. But I know it’s fleeting, and soon the blooms will be gone, replaced by green leaves or flowers that are wilting.

We have one plant in our yard that continues to be the first to let us know Spring is here. It always seems to show it’s buds and blooms before all the other plants. It’s an early bloomer, I suppose. There’s some unspoken comfort I experience when that plant comes to life. That winter, and the harsher conditions that come with us, won’t last forever. It’s like a warm blanket that makes you feel like everything is going to be okay.

My sons often sigh when I point out the beauty around us. Where I live, there is much of it — snow capped mountains in the distance, blooms all around. I never get tired of it. My kids haven’t known any other scenery so they aren’t quite as impressed, though I think  my awe gets them to reconsider how they view what’s around them. At least, I hope it does.

How do you experience Spring? How does your child?