Category Archives: Project

Most Important

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What is currently your top priority?

I’ve been reading Worlds Apart: A Memoir of Uncertain Belonging by Sarah Lutterodt, who grows up in England but comes into her own as her work takes her to far off places including Ghana, and the US.

In addition to the book being about being an immigrant, and navigating prejudice (as a working/educated woman), and her family incurring racial discrimination (with husband being from Ghana) it’s about the struggles of a working parent and the choices we make whether to make ends meet or to pursue a professional goal.

In one anecdote, her oldest asks her what the most important project is she is working on. When she responds with the name of her work project, her oldest quickly corrects her. “Wrong!” they say, “your family is your most important project!”

I loved this. How many of us can relate to our work feeling oh-so-important in the moment and lose (or take for granted), even if momentarily, what’s really important? Juggling work and family can feel impossible. I recall a colleague, recently back from maternity leave, calling me in tears because she was overwhelmed with everything coming at her. I could so relate! I felt fortunate she was willing to be vulnerable and open with me about her struggles in managing the demands of the job and her need to do right be her family. I reminded her that she was probably doing better than she thought she was (because aren’t we almost always our own worst critics), and encouraged her to take micro breaks (a walk, fresh air, etc.), so she could better regain her footing.

As parents, demand on our time are constant, and the next thing that needs to get done can feel “most important.” How do you keep yourself tuned into what’s really important and ensure you don’t let work (or other obligations) overtake the parent you want to be and how you want your show up in your relationships?

MVP

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Who hasn’t dreamed of being a MVP?

My oldest took on a community project that ended up being more than he realized. With a lot of input from his father and I, other mentors, and community leaders he figured out what he needed to do and how to get the large task done.

His grandfather learned of his grandson’s project and wanted to be part of his work crew. He considered it a “bucket list” item that he’d treasure — getting to accomplish something with him. The work was grueling — hot sun, and a smallish work crew. Grandpa let my son lead, it was his project, but gave him pointers throughout — if you’re going to do something do it right, you want to look back and be proud of your work; and don’t cut corners — it ends up costing you more wasted time (and possibly money and energy) in the end. My oldest took what his grandfather said to heart, particularly when they were supposed to finish the job in four days, but weren’t going to meet the milestone.

My son said he felt defeated and wallowed in things not going according to plan, from a timeline perspective. When another adult asked, “what are you going to do?,” since time was up but the project not finished. “I’m going to work until it’s finished,” my son replied.

He and his granddad went back on the fifth day, recruited a few new crew members and finished the work. They were worn out. My son come home and joined us outside for dinner. His grandfather came out a few minutes later. My son chanted, “MVP, MVP, MVP,” to his grandad. Clearly my son felt his grandfather played a winning role in helping him get his project done. It might have been a bucket list item for his grandfather, but it will be a wonderful memory my son will carry throughout his life.

How are you (or other family members) helping your child/kid/teen achieve their goals?