Category Archives: Prepare

Tryouts

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Did you ever try out for a sport or role when you were growing up?

I tried out for a sporting team in high school that had the minimum number of players needed when I tried out, so I wasn’t cut (phew!). I had to practice, and practice, and practice, and eventually became proficient at the sport and played for my three years.

My oldest has tried out for two sports. Basketball, when he was in middle school; and football in high school. He didn’t make the basketball team, which he was disappointed by, but also didn’t have much playing time under his belt (he shot hoops with friends occasionally, but hadn’t played a game, even in a rec league). He played flag football throughout his younger years, and made the high school football team based on his skills and knowledge of the game.

My youngest, tried out for theater roles, and has been fortunate to get selected to participate in his high school productions each year. His elementary theater experience really helped him prepare.

Our exchange student has now decided to try out for a sport. Her experience is limited, but her enthusiasm and determination to do well, impressive. As a host parent, I want to encourage her, yet, don’t want her to be too disappointed should she not make the team. It’s a tough balancing act in my experience. My oldest knew two days into his basketball tryouts he likely wouldn’t make the team. I strongly encouraged him to keep with the tryouts (don’t regret not seeing something through — hood or bad), and he was released from moving forward in the tryout process the following day. I’ve reflected on this numerous times wondering if I did the right (or wrong) thing by pushing him to continue. My thinking was, he would regret his decision if he stopped early and didn’t see the tryouts through.

I’ve decided this time with our exchange student, I’m just going to be supportive and if she chooses to stop the tryout process, help her work through any negative feelings she experiences. It may dampen her otherwise positive experience here in America, but I’m sure she’ll take something positive from the situation regardless of the outcome.

Tryouts are hard. Of course you want to see your child succeed, but how do you handle it when they get cut, or it looks like they won’t make the team? How do you help them put the disappointment into perspective and use the situation to help them do something different in the future (prepare more, focus on other interests, etc.)?

The Interview

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When was the last time you interviewed for a job?

My oldest has an interview for a position he’s interested in. He let me know about the upcoming interview and I encouraged him to think about his strengths and what he could bring to the job. I gave him a few examples. I told him to think about feedback or insights he received throughout his life from teachers, coaches, or any adult he trusted and valued their opinion. He asked if he could work with me on this. Of course, I agreed. My oldest rarely wants my help (or guidance) on anything. 😊

We sat down one afternoon and I asked him to walk me through his strengths. He struggled, I think most of us do, and I encouraged him to think about his experiences and what he was good at. I told him, like I tell anyone I mentor, that everyone has gifts. You need to be comfortable owning them. This isn’t about being humble or braggadocios, it’s about being factual. Here’s what you’re good at, here’s why you know you’re good at this (experience), and then correlate it to the job skills they need helping the interviewer understand why you’d be a good fit.

I next asked him a few common interview questions. Tell me about yourself. Why are you interested in this job? Why do you think you would be a good fit? We gave me his answers, and then I shared that sometimes interviewers can ask questions that may catch you off guard — what is your biggest weakness or tell me about a time you were rejected. Questions, that if you aren’t prepared for can trip you up. I then encouraged him to use the questions we’d just covered and practice his responses in front of a mirror — a trick I learned early in my career as a good way to build confidence in what you want to say, and the body language you use. I told him to take his time and come rejoin me when he was ready for me to ask him the questions again.

I wasn’t sure how much time he would take to practice or if he’d be willing to go through the interview questions with me again (sometimes mom (my) suggestions aren’t always well received). 🥰 He was. He practiced for a while, then came out and we role-played again. He did better, but I had some additional feedback for him and encouraged him to keep working on his responses and the points he wanted to make sure to get through.

Interviewing is hard. I shared some good advice I’d learned with my son — Don’t say what you think they want you to say, but be your authentic self. I let him know when he loosened up during our practice time, he and his strengths really came through and the interviewer would get a much better sense for who he is if he answered questions this way. I reminded him that the interview is a time to go from an unknown to a known. I finished by sharing, practice (prepare), be authentic, and feel you put your best foot forward regardless of the outcome.

It was really nice to share this experience with my son. I hope he feels the same way.

How do you help your kid get prepared for experiencing something new?