Mom’s at Work

This image is from The New Yorker. I saw it in a store and it made me burst out laughing.

Being a mom is no joke — the roles and the responsibilities of any parent stack up quickly — caretaker, chef, chauffeur, comforter, protector, teacher, and so on. Regardless if you work outside the home or not, you are working multiple jobs. It can be rewarding, thankless, and exhausting all once.

A special shout-out to all you working moms (because again, ALL of us are working!). Enjoy your special day. Relax, unwind, and enjoy, because a new job may be added to the mix soon. 😉

The Interview

When was the last time you interviewed for a job?

My oldest has an interview for a position he’s interested in. He let me know about the upcoming interview and I encouraged him to think about his strengths and what he could bring to the job. I gave him a few examples. I told him to think about feedback or insights he received throughout his life from teachers, coaches, or any adult he trusted and valued their opinion. He asked if he could work with me on this. Of course, I agreed. My oldest rarely wants my help (or guidance) on anything. 😊

We sat down one afternoon and I asked him to walk me through his strengths. He struggled, I think most of us do, and I encouraged him to think about his experiences and what he was good at. I told him, like I tell anyone I mentor, that everyone has gifts. You need to be comfortable owning them. This isn’t about being humble or braggadocios, it’s about being factual. Here’s what you’re good at, here’s why you know you’re good at this (experience), and then correlate it to the job skills they need helping the interviewer understand why you’d be a good fit.

I next asked him a few common interview questions. Tell me about yourself. Why are you interested in this job? Why do you think you would be a good fit? We gave me his answers, and then I shared that sometimes interviewers can ask questions that may catch you off guard — what is your biggest weakness or tell me about a time you were rejected. Questions, that if you aren’t prepared for can trip you up. I then encouraged him to use the questions we’d just covered and practice his responses in front of a mirror — a trick I learned early in my career as a good way to build confidence in what you want to say, and the body language you use. I told him to take his time and come rejoin me when he was ready for me to ask him the questions again.

I wasn’t sure how much time he would take to practice or if he’d be willing to go through the interview questions with me again (sometimes mom (my) suggestions aren’t always well received). 🥰 He was. He practiced for a while, then came out and we role-played again. He did better, but I had some additional feedback for him and encouraged him to keep working on his responses and the points he wanted to make sure to get through.

Interviewing is hard. I shared some good advice I’d learned with my son — Don’t say what you think they want you to say, but be your authentic self. I let him know when he loosened up during our practice time, he and his strengths really came through and the interviewer would get a much better sense for who he is if he answered questions this way. I reminded him that the interview is a time to go from an unknown to a known. I finished by sharing, practice (prepare), be authentic, and feel you put your best foot forward regardless of the outcome.

It was really nice to share this experience with my son. I hope he feels the same way.

How do you help your kid get prepared for experiencing something new?

Learning on the Job

What did you learn from your first job?

My oldest son has his first job where he receives a paycheck where taxes are withheld. He mainly works “behind the scenes” but occasionally has to interact with customers. The growth curve to get proficient is steep. He’s had days where he’s come home anxious, overwhelmed, exhausted, and sometimes even keeled and relaxed (though rare), My husband and I have reminded him he’s learning, making mistakes is normal, but learning for each mistake and doing better the next time is key.

This job is good for him. It’s forcing him to better understand what a job is — training, people relying on you, gaining new skills, and being challenged. He’s also gaining needed knowledge around what he wants you to do as a career — how does he want to be challenged, interact with others, and gain a feeling of accomplishment or at least contributing in a meaningful way?

My first job, aside from babysitting, was arranging floral bouquets — not the flowers, but the greenery. It was hard work on your hands with cuts from thorns, stickiness from sap, and it was so repetitive. I learned very quickly I did not want to do this long term. It reenforced the importance of education and to take advantage of every opportunity that presented itself. I know I was fortunate and had more opportunities than many others and took advantage of them (thanks to my own parents continuing to push and encourage me).

My son is thinking through what he wants to do. You can see him grappling with being independent — I can make my own choices; and balancing it with the opportunities his father and I continue to put in front of him — keep learning, don’t limit your options. I’m unsure the route he’ll ultimately go, but know he’s learning on the job, on how he wants to show up and interact with others — be a team player, reliable, accountable, and make mistakes and learn as he gains more knowledge; and what he ultimately wants out of a job and career.

What new skills is your child learning? How are you continuing to get them to take advantage of opportunities that present themselves that will help them grow?