Have you had a grown up conversation with your child? It’s never easy, at least for me.

My youngest came home after seeing three short productions put on by his classmates one evening, and one particular play stuck with him. “Mom, it was about domestic abuse,” he said. “Did they show the woman getting hit?,” I asked. He shared that there was no violence throughout the play, but it was a telling of a story — that ran in The New Yorker called The Wind by Lauren Goff — of a mother and her children who attempt to flee her abusive husband, who had standing in society. Not everyone gets a happy ending.

My son had empathy for everyone in the story. He couldn’t shake the story (and the truths that the story mirrored reality for real people – male and female in these situations) he had heard. I knew I had to discuss it with him.

“Abuse is scary, and it can happen to anyone,” I started. “No one knowingly sets out to be in an abusive relationship.” I reminded him of the organization that had come to talk to him and his classmates in middle school, The One Love Foundation, and how it’s important to keep in mind what makes a healthy, and loving relationship. He agreed but was still shaken by what humans are capable of doing to one another. I’m shaken too.

My son shared he was grateful he grew up in a loving household and I echo’ed that his father and I were grateful we too had been raised in safe spaces. It hurts my soul to know not everyone gets that.

My son is an empathy with off-the-charts emotional intelligence (per my ranking scale 😉), and cares deeply about others and their wellbeing. I think the world would be a little better if we were more like my son in this way.

How do you talk to your kids about serious/grown up topics? How are you creating a safe space for them?