Monthly Archives: July 2024

Off They Go

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When my boys were young we came across the book Off We Go to Mexico by Laurie Krebs, a fun book taking the reader through some of the wonders of Mexico. It starts with, “Off we go, off we go, off we go to Mexico.” The kids loved the repetitiveness of ‘off we go,’ and we applied it freely for any adventure we were going to have — ‘off we go, off we go, off we go to…the park, on a walk, or the zoo’ — you get the drift. Everyone loved the silliness of it, and it did make our journey feel more like a try adventure when the sing-song intro of ‘off we go’ got us started.

We took a trip in eastern Canada via rail. Our youngest planned logistics for our trip, with cities we’d visit, days we’d stay, and ideas for things to do including visiting family, seeing some sites, and building in ‘free time’ for everyone to be able to do what they wanted including relaxing or doing something on your own.

Our youngest really wanted to explore the metro system of one of the cities we visited by himself. He’d previously had done this without issue so we allowed him to go off and do it again with parameters — keeping us posted, updating us on his whereabouts, and when he’d be back. He went off on his adventure but shared he was coming back to the hotel earlier than we expected. “Everything okay?,” I asked. “Yes,” he replied. “Did something happen?” I asked. “No,” he shared, “I just got anxious and scared and bored.” His awareness of his own feelings always blows me away. “Okay,” I said, “you sure you’re okay? You can come meet us?” He declined and said he’d see us back at the hotel.

We talked at dinner about his day. He shared where he’d gone, and the routes he hadn’t. “Are you disappointed you didn’t go everywhere you wanted?” and he said, “I can do it when I come back.” We have no plans as a family to go there again, but my son does. I loved he can visualize himself getting back there.

I’m so proud of my son and his desire to break out on his own, and find his own adventures. I’m so grateful I’ve been able to not let my fears of letting him g(r)ow hold him back (not always easy). The words keep running through my mind every time he decides a new adventure (local or away) he plans to take. Off he goes, off he goes, off he goes to…

What adventures are you and your kid(s) having? Any books that your kid(s) haven’t grown out of?

Whose House is This?

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Anyone else worried about letting your older teen housesit while you’re out of town?

Our oldest decided to forego joining us on a family trip so he could work and make money. We respected his decision though we’re bummed he wouldn’t be joining us. My husband and I agreed him staying behind, watching the house, and caring for our family pet would be a good opportunity for him to be on his own with responsibilities and no one to pick up the slack for him.

There were two things I was concerned about — us coming back to the house being dirty (because we have been unsuccessful getting our son to clean to the standards we do), and a lesser one to him having a party and not so much what he would do, but people that might come over and what they would do. My fear may have been heightened from a recent viewing of the play Mean Girls that my youngest participated in. There is a scene in the play (which is based on the movie) of a house party where the kids sing, “Whose house is it? It’s my house now! Who house is it? It’s my house now!” Funny for the play. Terrifying for the parent whose older child, who will be watching the house, is sitting next to them. 😬 The song had him smiling from ear-to-ear.

Before we left for our trip, we went over things he needed to stay on top of and discussed having friends over being fine, but a party not being okay. He talked about the risks of partying (people getting hurt, property destroyed, etc.). We tried not to lay it on too thick, but present him with facts in the hopes he’d make choices he felt good about.

We checked in with him daily. We could tell he had mixed feelings (as did we) about not being with us. Enjoying being on his own with no one to answer to (at least in the moment) and missing us (even if it was only just a tiny bit). Towards the end of our trip, our son shared how he was growing bored on his own, and feeling a bit lonely. We encouraged him to reach out to friends, or busy himself with things around the house, or just get outside for a walk or a run to break-up the day. We shared with him the growth he was experiencing and how this adjustment time was good for him to figure out how to spend his time and not waste or worry it away.

It was great to return and find no party occurred (or there was a heck of a cleaning job), but the dirt (though not as extensive as I feared) was there. Phew! Our son proved our trust in us, and more importantly in himself. Now, if I could just get that song out of my head.

Anyone else let their teen housesit? What stories or insights can you share?