Category Archives: Raising Kids

Change of Scenery

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Have you ever had to move your family?

When I was growing up, we relocated to a different state for my father’s job. It was pretty traumatic for my siblings and I. We moved from the suburbs to the sticks and had quite an adjustment to go through. It left an impression on me and created a desire to not move as a family once the kids were in school. I realize this isn’t an option for many, and there are many benefits to having your child move to different environments. It’s just my preference to, if at all possible, not move.

I’ve blogged in the past about how we are outgrowing our current home and either need to find another home or remodel ours. We are currently looking at remodeling and have found a home to stay in while the work is being done.

There is a part of me that is looking forward to the move. Moving forces you to rid yourself of much. It’s a catharsis, with a touch of sadness. Many items are a reference point for a memory, and while logically you know you’ll never use the item again it can be hard to know you’ll lose the reference point. I’m also looking forward to the change of scenery. We’ll be close to our home so we won’t feel so isolated, yet we’ll have an opportunity to experience something new — new layout, new way we navigate a new home, and make it ours while we’re living there. The kids are excited about the possibilities. I’m following their lead. Moving can be stressful, but it can be fun. It’s an adventure and hopefully we’ll all be better for it, in the end.

How did you get through you move? How did you help your kids adjust to their change in scenery?

 

Spring Cleaning

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Do you like to clean?

I hate it. I’ve always hated it. My mom had me doing chores to help around the house when I was young. I did it because I was expected to, not because I enjoyed it. Don’t get me wrong, I prefer a clean house. I function much better in order than chaos, but oh, how I do not like to clean. And while I could hire someone to clean my house, I’d still have to straighten up before hand, which in my experience is most of the work is anyways, so paying someone to clean after I’ve straightened up doesn’t seem to make much sense.

The house we live in is a modest size. With a family of four, there is not enough space for all our stuff, and by stuff, I mean: kids artwork (and you all know how that piles up quickly), kids toys (even though we clean out the toys annually), books they’ve outgrown but we haven’t parted with yet, and the list goes on. I attempted when my first son was born to keep my house nice and tidy. I abandoned that (or severely changed my definition of what tidy means) after going back to work. I was just too tired to keep it up, and something had to give. I’ve always had the goal of getting back to the housekeeper I used to be. Thankfully I’ve had several other mothers let me know I’m not alone.

“You’ll get your house back once the kids are out of the house,” one mom shared. Good to hear, I thought, but not sure I want to wait that long.

“It’s nice to have company come over, because it forces you to clean your place,” another shared. This really resonated with me. While I hate to clean I LOVE a clean house. I get a high when my house is nice and presentable. If only I could figure out how to make it last.

We are thinking about doing some work on our house, with the goal of adding some more space, and hopefully storage. In order to prepare for this work, it’s required us to clean-out closets and figure out what stays and what goes. It’s like a regular Spring cleaning on steroids. It’s not fun to do, but boy, does it feel good when it’s done.

How does Spring cleaning make you feel? How do you handle all of the stuff that comes into your house when you become a parent?

Spring Forward

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Do you ever wish you could stop time, or at least, slow it down?

Daylight Savings starts today, and it reminds me how quickly time is moving forward. It seems like the year just started and we’re already almost a quarter of the way done. My kids complain about how slow time goes. I can remember when I felt like that. Time dragged on as a kid. I thought the school year lasted forever.

A friend recently shared a photograph of a group of us, from a trip we’d all taken ten years ago. My oldest was a baby in the picture. When I looked at the picture I had two thoughts: 1) I can’t believe how fast time is gone, and 2) wow, look how young I look.   There’s a lot that goes into ten years of time, and while to my son it may feel like time is going slow, to me it feels like it’s going faster and faster. I wish there were a way I could slow it down. If I spring forward another ten years, he’ll be off on his own. Gulp. I’m not sure I’m ready to think about that just yet.

How do you experience time? How does your child?

 

Where the Wild Things Are

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How did you pass the time when you were sent to your room as a child?

Oh, how I hated being bored as a kid. What I hated more was being sent to my room and being bored. You were trapped without having access to most of things you love (TV, music, etc.). When I was sent to my room as a child, I would move between lying on my bed seething at my parents and how I thought they’d wronged me, and then figure out what I could do to kill the time — read a book, write something down, play with some of my toys, etc.

I recently took my kids to a local production of Where the Wild Things Are, a story about a boy, Max, who gets in trouble for misbehaving and the wonderful journey his imagination takes him on. In the production we watched, Max was sent to his room without supper. This is where his adventure began. As I watched the show I thought, Wow, I wish I had this kind ability to create a new world when I was his age. It never even occurred to me to dream up a new world to escape those times I was ‘captive’ in my own room. It felt like I’d missed an opportunity (using my creativity, spending my time in a more enjoyable fashion, etc.) by not following in the main character’s footsteps. I was both inspired by the character and disappointed in myself. It made me think about how my children spend their time when they’ve been sent to their room. I’ve got to believe some of their time is spent lying on their bed seething at how I, or their father, have done them wrong, but then what comes next?

On the way home, we talked about the play, and how creative Max was. We talked about using our imagination to create new worlds, and how fun it can be dreaming up something on your own. I don’t know if my children were inspired by what they saw, and if they’ll follow in Max’s footsteps when they are bored or have been sent to their room, but I hope they will. Sometimes our imagination and the idea of what’s possible or ideal can be exactly what you need to get you through a hard time.

What does your child do when they are bored? How do they fill the time?

 

 

Super Bowl Sunday: Go Team!

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Who are you rooting for today in the big game?

It’s been fun hearing my kids evaluate who they want to root for and why. They have sympathy for the Broncos because the Seahawks (our favorite team) beat them in the Super Bowl two years ago, and Peyton Manning is a good player. They like the Panthers because they’ve been dominant, they beat the Seahawks (we still wish we could get that first half back again), and Cam Newton gave us the ‘dab.’ So who do you root for?

My oldest had a philosophy when he was younger that didn’t disappoint…root for the team that’s going to win. Hard to argue with that, especially when you don’t have anything vested in either team. Of course, it will be fun to watch the commercials and eat some unhealthy food during the game, but ultimately it will be about us having some time together as our own team (family) and doing what many of us do here in America on Sunday afternoons, watch football.

How does your child decide who they root for? How do you, as a family, enjoy watching the game?

Go Team!

Need a little Christmas…

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Is there anyone else out there that is already exhausted? Anyone who needs a little holiday cheer to help boost their spirit and energy level?

This year has been one of the most busy and stressful years of my professional career. I feel like I’ve done pretty good getting through this year, but have to admit I am nearing full burn-out. I’m in need of an energy boost. I need rest. I need….a vacation.

The holidays could easily create additional stress for me, but not this year. I’m really looking forward to them. I look forward to seeing my children’s anticipation grow as they anxiously await the arrival of Christmas Day, I look forward to spending time with friends at holiday gatherings, and having that much needed time off just to rest and relax. Just thinking about it puts a smile on my face.

How are you preparing yourself for the holidays? What about the holidays puts a smile on your face?

I’m Scared

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As a kid, what were you afraid of?

Our neighbor is really into Halloween. Each year, their front yard becomes a mini haunted house. I have to admit I was a little concerned how my children would react to the realistic skeletons, blood fountain (yes) and fake guillotine when they were younger, but up until this year they seemed more curious than frightened by them. My oldest son said, “Mom, I know this hasn’t bothered me in the past, and this isn’t real, but it kinda scares me.” I knew what he meant. There seems to be a shift at some age where things that you didn’t really notice or comprehend become scary.

My earliest memory of being scared was of shadows cast in my bedroom as a child from the door not being closed all the way and light coming in from the hallway. I’m sure I’d read or heard stories of monsters living under children’s beds, and while I logically knew the possibility was very small, the slightest possibility unnerved me. When I voiced my fear to my parents, I was often consoled and told, “It’s not real, don’t worry about it.” Easier said than done, right? The mind has the capacity for great imagination.

As a parent, my kids are now experiencing fear in their own way. Whether it’s the neighbors Halloween decorations or the unexplained noise (our house is old, and known to creak), or being afraid of the dark, it’s all very real to them. I sat my kids down after one of the boys asked if vampires were real. “Do you think people would be walking around outside ever if vampires were real?” I saw that I got their attention so I continued. “Doo-dee-doo, look at me, I’m just strolling along, hoping no vampire is going to come and get me.” With that, my boys started to smile. Realizing what I was saying was true seemed to comfort them. I added, “Same for werewolves, mummies, and zombies. We wouldn’t have a lock on our door, we’d live in a metal vault that would require a million different codes to get in. We’d never see our neighbors cause they’d have the same thing. Man, how’d we get groceries (and who’d work at the grocery store all open and exposed for some vampire to walk on in), or get to work or school, or go out and do anything fun if all these things that were trying to kill or eat us were all around?” Now my boys were laughing. They got it…vampires, werewolves, mummies and zombies aren’t real.

But it was a good reminder. Fear is real, and needed for survival. It gets complicated when we talk about things worth really fearing in our world. But that’s a talk for another day. In the meantime, I’ll continue to look for ways to help my children understand those things they need not fear at all.

How do you help your child work through fear they are experiencing? How do you explain all the ‘scary stuff’ that comes out at Halloween?

Enjoy the extra hour of sleep following Halloween. I’ll be back in early November.

Do Something

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I am in disbelief that I blogged about gun violence only a month ago and we’ve already had another mass shooting. This has to end. As parents, we have to take a stand. We have to raise our voices. We have to protect our children. We have to do something.

Image result for gun statistics 2015

Join a community such as SandyHookPromise.org, or momsdemandaction.org, write to your senators and congressmen and women. Do something.

According to Everytownresearch.org at least 204 child shootings have occurred in 2015. More than two million American children live in homes with guns that are not stored safely and securely. The link to everytownresearch.org includes an interactive map that tracks every publicly reported incident in 2015 where a person age 17 or under unintentionally kills or injures someone with a gun.

Silence = Acceptance. We cannot accept this. For our own sakes, but more so our children’s and there’s to come.

I know you love your child as much as I do mine. Please join me and do something.

A Change in the Weather

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What is your favorite time of year, and what makes it so?

In our house, Fall is right up there.  We made a list of our favorite things (kinda of like Oprah’s Favorite Things list, but made up of things you just can’t buy). 🙂

There are the normal things we look forward to every year:

  • Apple cider
  • The return of college football and going to Red Mill (Red Mill is a burger place that is open all year round. For whatever reason the return of college football reminds us it’s time to go back to Red Mill)
  • The leaves changing color, and
  • Going to the pumpkin patch (we’ll do that here in a few weeks)

And there are those things that are temporary, having to do more with my children’s ages and interests than anything else:

  • Watching my oldest son practicing soccer past sunset with his team
  • Spending more time with other moms during practice — we’ve found the kids don’t seem to miss us if we slip away for a hot beverage or quick meal and get back by the time it’s over
  • Watching and cheering my son and his teammates on at the game (it’s nerve racking for me)
  • Spending time on the playground with my younger son while older brother plays in a game (I’m much calmer here)
  • Decorating a gingerbread Haunted House (again, we’ll do that here in a few weeks…and as much as I’d like to think this will be a long-term tradition, I fear it will only last as long as the boys are interested in doing it).

Time continues to pass. The boys are getting older. We reached a new milestone this season. Our membership expired at the zoo. We’ve had a membership there since the kids were babies. They no longer seem interested in seeing the animals. Other parents warned us this was coming, but it feels a little like a change in the weather…nothing ever really stays the same, and that’s okay. The constant traditions of Fall I look forward to, they will always be there. The ones that are yet-to-be excite me. What activities or temporary traditions will the new seasons bring for my family? We’ll just have to wait and see.

What are your favorite Fall traditions?

Let’s Go Camping

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When you think of summer what comes to mind? Playing on a Slip ‘n Slide, spending lots of time in the pool, going swimming in a lake, fishing, making homemade ice cream or something else?

My boys and I have never camped in the summer, but that’s going to change this year. We’ve camped before (see blogs on our camping trips in the past) but also in cooler months. I can remember camping as a kid and it was almost always in the summer months. Memories of bugs, relentless heat, and sweat come to mind. It’s probably why I’ve avoided it up to this point. Instead of doing traditional camping (and by that, I mean getting in the car and driving to a camping site) we’re going to camp in our own backyard. I realize this isn’t a unique idea, but it’s a first for us. Not having to drive anywhere and still being able to use all of your camping gear is appealing. And if the bugs bite, we’ve got a quick escape (either come inside or I can run to the store and pick up some bug spray). I know, I know…what fun is it, if you don’t have all the hardships that can come with a good old fashioned camping trip? Lots, I’d say. My boys are really excited about the backyard campout, and can’t wait to figure out how to convert of backyard so it is more ‘camp-like’ (I can’t wait to see what they come up with).

I’m reminded of my own upbringing and how the simple things: watching (and sometimes catching) lightning bugs, running through the sprinkler, going to a BBQ and just relaxing with people I loved holds a special place in my heart. These things were fun, relaxing, and created a moment that forced me to pause to appreciate how good it felt to be right where I was, without a care in the world.

When have you experienced those moments? How are you and your family enjoying the summer?